Life Style

Ways to have a healthy second marriage 

Remarriage after the divorced marriage or death of a former partner is often a delicate circumstance. Along with you and your new partner’s feelings, you also need to make sure the new relationship never gets hurt. Some outside influences, along with expectations you may put on yourself and your partner, could negatively affect the new relationship. You may have a healthy remarriage, however, if you let go of unrealistic expectations, if you have considered the children, and allow your soul to be happy and real. 

  • Talk to younger children about your feelings: young kids do not fully understand the intention of remarriage after their parents die. Express to them that you would always love their parents and you would love them, too, whatever the situation.
  • Consider that all kids would respond differently, they may warm up to your new partner right away or they may need time to adjust and work their emotions.
  • Taking your kids to see a counselor if they are upset regarding your remarriage may help them become comfortable with the situation. 
  • Realize children from previous marriage against you: your older children may be vocal regarding not wanting you to remarry or from any second shaadi profile you are checking. They may not like the new partner, or they may feel that you have not grieved the parent long enough. Although this may be difficult earlier, it is what you will need to do to keep your marriage healthy.
    • If they continue to act negatively towards your union, you have to distance yourself from them until they are going to accept you. This may only be a shorter time behavior and they may come around if you hold the position. 
    • Tell your precious children, ‘I understand you never want me to remarry. But, I am in love and want to spend the rest of my life making me feel happy. You are entitled to your thoughts but please never disrespect me, our marriage or my spouse. 
  • Consider the emotions of your new children: Your former or current partner may also have kids who may not feel comfortable in this marriage. To prevent this from affecting the relationship as little as possible, you will need to talk to them and your spouse about your relationship. 
    • You may also tell your partner that you are expecting them to defend you and not put up with any disrespectful nature or sentences from their children. 
    • For instance, you may tell your spouse, ‘I do not want to come between you and your children. However, we know that they are against our marriage. Please tell me what I could do to stop this from hurting our marriage.
  • Allow yourself to be happy, do whatever you want: the famous saying, you cannot make everyone happy and born to please anyone. Whether your friends or family may not be ready for you to marry, or even date again. 
    • Keep in mind that it is typical for a person to remarry after losing a partner, but kids would not want to replace their parents.

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