Sasuke: So, we meet, Naruto
Naruto: Sasuke... I... urghhhh!
(Naruto doubles over in pain)
(Flashback of eating the crow)
Naruto is surrounded by strange black chakra
Naruto: this must be Itachi's power!
The chakra clears, he now has the sharingan... and an emo fringe and black clothes
(Sasuke looks shocked - his hair reforms into an emo fringe, and his clothes all turn black)
Kakashi: his eyes - this is... the Teenage Angst-ingan. Those legendary eyes that turn ordinary people into whiny little bitches
Sasuke: wanna go write some bad poetry listening to MCR in the dark instead of destroying Konoha?
And so the world was saved and nobody heard from Sasuke again.