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Thread: Ask Dr. Ecchi

  1. #531
    ferretfanatic is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Hey I think I asked this question before, but I'll say it again xD
    Do guys like it better when the girl they're doing it with is noisy? Like squealing and stuff.
    I know this is an opinion-based question, so what's your opinion?

  2. #532
    Id.
    Id. is offline Member Frequent Poster
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    Hello, everyone! I am new to this forum and Iīve read this entire topic. And Iīve got to say that I am amazed with the amount of information that everyone wrote! I also have some questions, but first Iīll explain my current situation:


    I am 21 and a half years old and still a virgin. I never had any real relationships until the half of last September. Me and my colleague at work knew each other for almost a year and became very close friends. But then, around August, we realized that what we were feeling was more than friendship. So, because we are both very shy (and also because of something else that Iīll mention later in this post), I spent an entire month thinking if I should or should not go out with her. Having made my decision, we started to go out after I took her to McDonaldīs in September 14th. About our relationship, I donīt have anything to complain. She is very sweet, lovable and I couldnīt ask for a better girlfriend. Sex, of course, came to my mind, but not as something to do right now, but only when we feel that our relationship is mature enough for that.


    Oh, I was almost forgetting about the "something else" that made me think for a whole month before engaging in a relationship with her. As I mentioned before, we work at the same place and became very close friends. The "something else" is the fact that she was eight months pregnant at the time and, when we finally got together, she was two weeks from her sonīs birth. Two days before his birth, we decided that our relationship would be a serious one and she became the first girlfriend I have ever had. Today, her baby is already one month old (and healthy, of course) and we are extremely happy together.


    Now, I would like to put my questions in here. I mentioned before about the sex part. What I would like to know is:


    1. In the first six months after the childīs birth, both my mother and my friend told me that the chances of the woman becoming pregnant again is extremely high. Do any of you know if this is true?

    2. She had a natural birth, but in the end she had to perform a forceps because of some complications with the umbilical cord (it was wrapped around the babyīs neck). Is there any change in the womanīs vagina after this kind of birth?

    3. Well, the last part is that, as I said before, I am still a virgin and, as you can see from what I wrote, she is not. When we decide together that it is the right time, I would like to, at least, know what I will do (not necessarily be a god of sex, but what to do when Iīm with her). Could someone, please, give me some advices?


    Well, if anyone of you read the whole post until here, Iīll be thankful for any reply that should help me in those questions!

  3. #533
    Ganegrei is offline Member Frequent Poster
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    I would not recommend continuing that relationship.

    Do you really wanna be that baby's daddy?

    Because after a while she is going to start expecting you to be, its only natural. You are 21 years old, you should not come within 100 yards of a baby. Go to college, date a thousand girls, make something of yourself, dont get stuck with long term responsibilities at that age.

    Sorry its just I had a very similar case in my life. When I was 20 I had liked my coworker, a 19 year old girl, and was planning to ask her out. We had been friends but I felt something more. Then I found out she was pregnant. It was tough but I didnt want any part of that. You can call me a creep or a loser or anything else but it was just the way I felt.

    Love is great, but common sense is better.

    And no u shouldnt have sex with her because she obviously isnt very responsible in the first place and that lack of responsibility when combined with sex is a disaster waiting to happen.

  4. #534
    Id.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ganegrei View Post
    I would not recommend continuing that relationship.

    Do you really wanna be that baby's daddy?

    Because after a while she is going to start expecting you to be, its only natural. You are 21 years old, you should not come within 100 yards of a baby. Go to college, date a thousand girls, make something of yourself, dont get stuck with long term responsibilities at that age.

    Sorry its just I had a very similar case in my life. When I was 20 I had liked my coworker, a 19 year old girl, and was planning to ask her out. We had been friends but I felt something more. Then I found out she was pregnant. It was tough but I didnt want any part of that. You can call me a creep or a loser or anything else but it was just the way I felt.

    Love is great, but common sense is better.

    And no u shouldnt have sex with her because she obviously isnt very responsible in the first place and that lack of responsibility when combined with sex is a disaster waiting to happen.
    In your case, you found out she was pregnant. In my case, I ALREADY knew from the very beginning she was pregnant, even before I considered the idea of going out with her. I spent a whole month thinking if I should do it (ask her out) or if I should forget it. She knew about it and gave me the time to think about it.

    And she also told me the whole story about her and the babyīs biological father (I wonīt go into details, but what he did to her is something that I think no man should do to a woman).

    Also, you said that I should go to college, date thousand girls... Well, I donīt want any of that. Honestly, I donīt know if she will be only my first girlfriend and Iīll break up in the future with her and have other women or if she will be the only girlfriend Iīll ever had. But the thing is: I like her and I want to be with her. My family already know her and they really liked her. And talking about my family, I have two examples that worked out with girls that already had a child (in one of them, it was the woman that made my cousin change the way that he was, because he used to hang out with some people not that good).

    Now, about the part of the "irresponsible": yes, she acted carelessly. She told that to me, my mother, her mother and whoever talked to her. But, it was one mistake that she did in her personal life. In the rest, she is an excellent mother (from what I saw so far) and also very responsible here at work and with her studies. Regarding the sex part, I donīt mind, because I think that she realized her mistake and wonīt do it again. But, if at the time she doesnīt show signs of responsibility, then the story changes.

    As you said, love is great, but common sense is better. Iīm with her because I think that we can give it a chance. If I didnīt, I would probably ask myself if I should have tried or not. So, I tried. And you know what? I am happy with what I have now and glad that I decided to give it a try.

    Now, back to my questions, does anybody have answers for me?

    P.S.: about your friend, I completely understand what youīre saying. And I donīt think that youīre a creep, loser, or whatever. That was your decision and I respect it. From my experience, I say that itīs quite difficult to have this kind of relationship. But itīs worth it. Specially for the fact that the child brings much more light to your life than you ever expected (being yours or not).

    P.S.2: if I want to be the childīs daddy? Considering the fact that I helped her during most of the time when she was pregnant, and Iīm showing myself being more father than the biological father, I wouldnīt mind in the future if her child were to call me "dad". If we develop a strong connection, this will be extremely possible.

  5. #535
    ECCHIKING is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Id. View Post
    Hello, everyone! I am new to this forum and Iīve read this entire topic. And Iīve got to say that I am amazed with the amount of information that everyone wrote! I also have some questions, but first Iīll explain my current situation:


    I am 21 and a half years old and still a virgin. I never had any real relationships until the half of last September. Me and my colleague at work knew each other for almost a year and became very close friends. But then, around August, we realized that what we were feeling was more than friendship. So, because we are both very shy (and also because of something else that Iīll mention later in this post), I spent an entire month thinking if I should or should not go out with her. Having made my decision, we started to go out after I took her to McDonaldīs in September 14th. About our relationship, I donīt have anything to complain. She is very sweet, lovable and I couldnīt ask for a better girlfriend. Sex, of course, came to my mind, but not as something to do right now, but only when we feel that our relationship is mature enough for that.


    Oh, I was almost forgetting about the "something else" that made me think for a whole month before engaging in a relationship with her. As I mentioned before, we work at the same place and became very close friends. The "something else" is the fact that she was eight months pregnant at the time and, when we finally got together, she was two weeks from her sonīs birth. Two days before his birth, we decided that our relationship would be a serious one and she became the first girlfriend I have ever had. Today, her baby is already one month old (and healthy, of course) and we are extremely happy together.


    Now, I would like to put my questions in here. I mentioned before about the sex part. What I would like to know is:


    1. In the first six months after the childīs birth, both my mother and my friend told me that the chances of the woman becoming pregnant again is extremely high. Do any of you know if this is true?

    2. She had a natural birth, but in the end she had to perform a forceps because of some complications with the umbilical cord (it was wrapped around the babyīs neck). Is there any change in the womanīs vagina after this kind of birth?

    3. Well, the last part is that, as I said before, I am still a virgin and, as you can see from what I wrote, she is not. When we decide together that it is the right time, I would like to, at least, know what I will do (not necessarily be a god of sex, but what to do when Iīm with her). Could someone, please, give me some advices?


    Well, if anyone of you read the whole post until here, Iīll be thankful for any reply that should help me in those questions!
    I'm glad you're taking responsibility for that other losers mistakes. I'm assuming he beat her? Poor girl.

    Anyway to your questions
    1) I'm fairly certain that her rate of birth doesn't change after pregnancy but you might want to hold off for a while. Taking care of the baby comes first you know.

    2) If anything it makes the vagina looser which isn't a bad thing sex wise.

    3) This might have been answered already. Basically set the mood lead her in with kissing and lots of foreplay and then sex. Like i said before though, the baby comes first so you should wait a little bit before trying to have sex. You're a virgin dad there isn't much of a rush.

  6. #536
    Id.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ECCHIKING View Post
    I'm glad you're taking responsibility for that other losers mistakes. I'm assuming he beat her? Poor girl.

    Anyway to your questions
    1) I'm fairly certain that her rate of birth doesn't change after pregnancy but you might want to hold off for a while. Taking care of the baby comes first you know.

    2) If anything it makes the vagina looser which isn't a bad thing sex wise.

    3) This might have been answered already. Basically set the mood lead her in with kissing and lots of foreplay and then sex. Like i said before though, the baby comes first so you should wait a little bit before trying to have sex. You're a virgin dad there isn't much of a rush.

    Thanks, ECCHIKING!


    1) So, it doesnīt change? Hum, thatīs ok but, as you said now, and as I think that I mentioned before, I am holding off for a good time now because the baby, of course, comes first.

    2) The vagina becomes looser? Wow, never thought about that. But, considering the fact that a baby passed down there... And a looser vagina is good sex wise? Also didnīt know about that!

    3) Again, thanks for the tips! About the foreplay part, I guess I will review some parts on this topic (I guess there was a HUGE post explaining about foreplay and oral sex). But, youīre right: the baby comes first, and when we started our relationship we knew that it wouldnīt be easy to find time just for the two of us. Which is why we are always with the baby when we are together, so that we can give each other attention and also to him. About the virgin, donīt worry, Iīm not in a rush. I just wanted to get some of those questions answered before doing something in the (FAR) future!

    P.S.: oh, and what happened between her and her ex is that he never took her seriously and, without her knowing, was engaged with another woman. And when the baby was born (and before that), he disappeared. Itīs not as radical as beating her, but itīs also pretty sad.

  7. #537
    ECCHIKING is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Id. View Post
    Thanks, ECCHIKING!


    1) So, it doesnīt change? Hum, thatīs ok but, as you said now, and as I think that I mentioned before, I am holding off for a good time now because the baby, of course, comes first.

    2) The vagina becomes looser? Wow, never thought about that. But, considering the fact that a baby passed down there... And a looser vagina is good sex wise? Also didnīt know about that!

    3) Again, thanks for the tips! About the foreplay part, I guess I will review some parts on this topic (I guess there was a HUGE post explaining about foreplay and oral sex). But, youīre right: the baby comes first, and when we started our relationship we knew that it wouldnīt be easy to find time just for the two of us. Which is why we are always with the baby when we are together, so that we can give each other attention and also to him. About the virgin, donīt worry, Iīm not in a rush. I just wanted to get some of those questions answered before doing something in the (FAR) future!

    P.S.: oh, and what happened between her and her ex is that he never took her seriously and, without her knowing, was engaged with another woman. And when the baby was born (and before that), he disappeared. Itīs not as radical as beating her, but itīs also pretty sad.
    I see.

    Yes the vagina becoming looser is technically a good thing. You ejaculate a lot faster when the vagina is tight (virgins for example). Having given birth i doubt the vagina would stay the same.

    I'm only really talking about you when it comes to having sex with her. I have no idea what she would want to do so maybe ask her what she wants? I'd be tough to ask her if she wants to have sex without making it seem obvious that you want to give up your virginity. As for learning about how to please her...that isn't a bad thing. It's better for her though because she probably does love you and being a virgin you wouldn't be able to please her that well yet. Learning how to do it like someone experienced only makes it more enjoyable for her.

  8. #538
    Id.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ECCHIKING View Post
    I see.

    Yes the vagina becoming looser is technically a good thing. You ejaculate a lot faster when the vagina is tight (virgins for example). Having given birth i doubt the vagina would stay the same.

    I'm only really talking about you when it comes to having sex with her. I have no idea what she would want to do so maybe ask her what she wants? I'd be tough to ask her if she wants to have sex without making it seem obvious that you want to give up your virginity. As for learning about how to please her...that isn't a bad thing. It's better for her though because she probably does love you and being a virgin you wouldn't be able to please her that well yet. Learning how to do it like someone experienced only makes it more enjoyable for her.

    Thanks again, ECCHIKING! I talked with one of my friends that is already married and his wife had a child through natural birth. He confirmed everything that you said.


    About sex, we talked about it one time. She already knows about my situation as much as I know about her own. But we decided to wait because right now we have our own priorities, which include finishing our studies in college; our jobs; and, of course, her baby. And our relationship is still very young (we are together for almost two months), so sex is something that I, and she, will leave at a later time in our relationship, when we are mature enough for that. Meanwhile, Iīll try to absorb as much information as I can (from this topic and other sources, of course) until the day that we finally do it, because I am really in love with her and want to, at least, make her feel good (and, in turn, feel good because she felt good with the experience). Donīt know if it will be already in the first time (most likely not) but, even if I am still a virgin, there is one thing that I know for sure about sex: it only gets better with experience and knowledge about what makes you and your partner feel good.

  9. #539
    ECCHIKING is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Id. View Post
    Thanks again, ECCHIKING! I talked with one of my friends that is already married and his wife had a child through natural birth. He confirmed everything that you said.
    This pleases me. XD
    Pretty surprising considering that i'm a virgin too...and younger then you to boot. XD

    Anyway good for you man. As long as you aren't egotistical like most kids are these days she'll love you even more.

  10. #540
    senile_seinen is offline Senior Member Regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferretfanatic View Post
    Hey I think I asked this question before, but I'll say it again xD
    Do guys like it better when the girl they're doing it with is noisy? Like squealing and stuff.
    I know this is an opinion-based question, so what's your opinion?
    I'll start with this one because it's easy and fun. Short answer: yes, but only if she means it. Not all women are naturally noisy, although most tend to be somewhat demonstrative if having enough fun. So if you feel the urge, be noisy and appreciative. A woman abandoning herself to passion is just about the sexiest thing on the planet to the man loving her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mochiko_chan88 View Post
    Protip:
    A girl's first time on top is very awkward, so don't sit back and relax - help her out by guiding her hips with your hands, or even opposing the motion by rocking your hips against hers. Perfecting that angle while on top takes a bit of getting used to, so at first she might not feel any pleasure. Make sure you encourage her in any way you see fit; after awhile you'll both get used to the angle and motion.
    That said, I'm still getting used to being on top myself ^^; Anyone have any more tips?
    Men who really love women love having them on top. A man on the bottom has both his hands free, and women come equipped with all kinds of fun things to fondle and play with

    Concur completely with helping her keep balance, opposing motion, etc. Also keep in mind that she can't see your penis, so she can't tell what angle it's at, etc. You may also have to grab some cheek to help insert yourself, and hang onto her hips or ribs to help direct things (remember, anything hard can break...) and support her some. Another useful thing to do if the man is significantly taller (or maybe just anyway) is to put a big pillow under his butt and another couple under his shoulders and head, which bends him into a curve, effectively shortening his torso, making his stuff easier to get at, and making it easier for him to grope, fondle, assist, and generally have a good time.

    Quote Originally Posted by dunky88 View Post
    but its often good for virgins to not be on top because if its painful when they lower themselves down and they know the pain that will occur. unless her "deflowering" isnt painful and then i agree with u that the girl should be on top.
    The advantage of her being on top is that she's driving. She can control how fast penetration occurs, what the angle is, etc. I have never heard of a virgin's first time being on top, and I suspect it would be a real management problem for her. But in cases like you've described where it's a tight fit, an ex-virgin might well prefer being on top for the benefit of control.

    Quote Originally Posted by Id. View Post

    1. In the first six months after the child´s birth, both my mother and my friend told me that the chances of the woman becoming pregnant again is extremely high. Do any of you know if this is true?

    2. She had a natural birth, but in the end she had to perform a forceps because of some complications with the umbilical cord (it was wrapped around the baby´s neck). Is there any change in the woman´s vagina after this kind of birth?

    3. Well, the last part is that, as I said before, I am still a virgin and, as you can see from what I wrote, she is not. When we decide together that it is the right time, I would like to, at least, know what I will do (not necessarily be a god of sex, but what to do when I´m with her). Could someone, please, give me some advices?
    1. Probability not higher than background, but many couples get caught by surprise because you don't usually know when fertility resumes after childbirth. Probability of conception (and lubrication) is dramatically reduced by regular breastfeeding, but is not zero. Here's how the system is supposed to work: Woman gives birth. Either a), baby is healthy and lives, or b) it isn't and dies in a few days/weeks. If a), woman breastfeeds baby (formula was only invented in the 20th century, and doesn't work as well as breast milk anyway). Woman tesnds to stay infertile while breastfeeding to maximize nutrition available to the baby, and give her body time to recover. Lactation is the hormonal trigger for the infertility. if b), she doesn't nurse a baby, so her milk dries up, and then she quickly becomes fertile again (if not malnourished), because the tribe always needs more people.

    Lots of 'folk wisdom' of the last 75 years is based on bottle-fed babies, which, as you can see, messes up the lactation=live baby signal the system depends on to determine whether she should be fertile now or not. One thing is abundantly clear: It's not healthy for a woman to bear and suckle more than about one baby every 18 months, and ma nature, left to her own devices, prevents this.

    2. If she has no evidence of tearing, she's fine. If she tore, she'll need to do some kegels when she's feeling good enough to. Actually, kegels are good in any case. You're so profoundly lucky that she didn't get an episiotomy - they're evil. And useless. Yes, things change, but kegels can get her as tight as you want her to be.

    3. Start at the beginning and read this thread through to the end. Download all of FE that's translated and read it. Read the books I cite early on in the thread. That'll get you started.

    Oh, and good luck. I can't speak to your wisdom, but your heart is in the right place. I just hope you don't wake up one morning five years from now and wonder where your wild youth went.
    Last edited by senile_seinen; 10-30-2007 at 06:42 PM.
    Not really the love+hate god, but the pic (from Midori no Hibi) is just too funny... Blog? Yeah.

 

 
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