Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    TheJaggid is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    your computer screen
    Posts
    822

    Post Short Story: Natural Instincts

    The theme this time was Yuri/Yaoi. Being a straight man, I naturally went for yuri. I don't care very much about the topics of homosexuality, so I didn't plan on entering, but hell, no one else did and I wanted them to select the next topic already.

    Anyways, this is only the first half. The second half, which I'll post later, is pretty much nothing but explicit content. This half is safe though.


    Natural Instincts

    In an 11th grade classroom, in the middle of lunch, Falena, a raven-haired girl, and Catalie, a short brown-haired girl, sat in their desks arguing. Next to them sat their golden-haired friend Fiamma, who was trying her best to keep up with them.

    It was Falena’s turn to speak: “It’s not! Love is nothing as scientific as that.”

    “How is it not?” asked Catalie. “When you look at it logically, it only makes sense that love is really just a natural animal instinct. We’ve created it as extra incentive to procreate, and it also gives the parents an emotional bond that gets them to stick together to help their child grow.”

    “Fally’s right, Catie!” interjected Fiamma again. “Love is something magical. You can’t just look at it as something that’s... that’s... calculated and... made for convenience!”

    “But it is! Even animals experience love just for those benefits,” insisted Catalie.

    “No way! Animals can’t love! You think fishes and sharks are capable of love?” retorted Falena.

    The argument had been going for about five minutes now. Catalie was pushing that love was not as romantic as everyone was making it out to be, and was little more than just a bunch of chemicals in the brain. Falena pushed that it was something more than that, while Fia exclaimed something about love being the answer.

    “Some animals can; mammals definitely can. What about cats and dogs? Dogs can love, right? Dogs can even love humans,” argued Catalie.

    “They don’t love humans romantically, though,” shot back Falena.

    “But they can love in some form. That they can love humans proves that they may be capable of loving each other.”

    “But that’s still a different love. Having one kind doesn’t prove they can definitely have the other.”

    “No, Catie has a point,” interjected Fia. “Kitties are really cute when they get like that and start purring and...!” Fia seemed to be falling deeper and deeper into her imagination.

    “W...what?” started Falena.

    “See, even Fia agrees,” boasted Catalie.

    “Fia! Don’t give up so easily!” encouraged Falena.

    “But kitties...”

    “Okay, so maybe animals can feel love too,” gave in Falena, “but what about homosexual love?”

    “What about it?” asked Catalie.

    “Animals can’t experience it, right? Humans do, it’s still romantic love, and it doesn’t serve to encourage reproduction or to help raise their child, because they can’t even have one. The fact that homosexual love has no correlation with your scientific view of love proves that love is more than just a natural instinct!”

    “Animals can be homosexual. But that doesn’t matter; homosexuality is just nature’s blunder. It isn’t supposed to exist. The fact that homosexuals can’t reproduce suggests that it’s supposed to die off with them.”

    “It suggests, but there’s no proof that homosexuality is genetic.”

    “Okay, then it’s a social blunder. In any case, it isn’t supposed to exist, and if it isn’t supposed to exist, it can’t say anything against real love as an instinctual mechanic.”

    At that statement, Falena was taken back a bit. That love of the same sex wasn’t real...

    “Who says homo love isn’t real love?” interjected Fia. “Love is love no matter who it’s between. I can definitely love a girl and still call it love!”

    “Yeah! Good one, Fia! Well said!” encouraged Falena, for more reasons than one.

    “Then what is love to you? Falena?” asked Catalie.

    “It’s... ah...” Falena looked at Fiamma for a moment, and noticed how expectantly she was looking at her. Falena wasn’t much of a romantic, but even she knew that love, whatever it was, couldn’t be anything as simple as some evolved natural instinct.

    “You don’t know? You spent this time arguing about something you don’t know yourself?” coaxed Catalie. It looked like she was starting to get serious, and less polite, like a beast getting ready to pound on its prey.

    “Fally?” said Fia, looking notably less expectant, a look that pierced Falena and tightened her chest.

    Fia. Lovely, adorable, idiotic Fia. It seemed to Falena that the only reason she engaged in this argument was for Fia’s honor, in a sense; so that Falena could, for once, act like her knight in shining armor, defending her naďve little perception of love. Falena just wanted to be Fia’s gallant hero, even though Falena was a woman. Even though they were both women, and Fia probably wasn’t that kind of a woman. Falena knew this, but could help herself from hoping anyways, that maybe, just maybe...

    Falena had known for years that she was in love with Fia. It was more than just her bright attitude, her friendly demeanor, or any of that. Falena had more than once... lusted for her... Wanted to touch and bask in her. To her, Fia seemed like a bright golden flame, and Falena was a dirty, ugly moth, endlessly drawn to it. Forever damned to never touch it...

    “...It’s a feeling of deep longing,” she said, consciously keeping herself from looking at Fia, “and of deep respect. It’s more than just pining to be with them, it’s more than just some chemicals in your head. I think...” Falena paused here to actually think. “...It’s the desperate desire for your loved one to be as happy as possible, even if it means hurting yourself. And if hurting yourself doesn’t go against natural instinct, then what does?”

    The bell rang, and suddenly lunch was over.



    Class started.

    “Put on your visors, everyone,” said the teacher.

    Falena, Fia, and Catalie each reached to the side of their desks and pulled up a small, plastic tiara, and placed it on their heads.

    “Today we’ll take a look at biology in Africa, aren’t you excited? Okay, everyone ready? ...Jacking in.”

    Falena’s senses were overtaken by the visor, and suddenly she found herself in an open, yellow, African prairie.

    It seemed to be afternoon here. Cold wind caressed her legs, and the lowering sun forced her to cover her eyes and look away. Smell, touch, and taste existed here too, so Falena opened her hand, composed a copy of her sushi roll in it, and gobbled it up. Sadly, virtual food could do nothing to satisfy real hunger, so satiety here only lasted until she jacked out.

    One by one her fellow classmates joined her in this landscape, and before long they had moved together into their usual social groups. Fia and Catalie were both here with her. Catalie, although a year older than them, was taking this course over again.

    “Let’s get to it,” said the teacher. “Today we’ll be looking at the African lion, the only cat on this planet known to be a social animal, meaning it lives in packs, or ‘prides’ as we call them. To show you how they hunt and distribute their food, here I have programmed one... two... HEY!”

    A few feet behind the teacher were two lions – a male and a female – screwing. The scene uncannily reminded Falena of the famous Circle of Life: since the lions happened to be humping only feet away from a dead wildebeest getting torn apart by their cubs. It was surprisingly deep for such a stupid, dirty joke.

    “Who did this!?” roared the teacher as the class laughed and a group of boys began pushing each other. “I will have you suspended- Farfalle, was it you??“

    “Now that I think of it,” said Catalie, looking away from the scene, disinterested. “You’ve ever wondered what it’s like?”

    “Huh? What is?” asked Falena.

    “Sex. You’ve wondered, right?”

    “W-well...”

    “Actually, is there even anyone you two like?”

    Falena immediately froze stiff and unnaturally turned her head to look Fia – completely against her will.

    Fia’s reaction... She was looking right back at Falena, blushing.

    “Yes? No?” continued Catalie, before sighing. “How lonely. Well, at least the lions seem to be enjoying themselves.”



    After classes, closing in on midnight at home, Falena was surfing the web.

    Surfing the web, however, had become more like swimming an ocean. Falena, her mind and body within that warm ocean, jetted through it, passing links and images like they were billboards on a street with no ground or sky. She could easily skim pages she had visited, bookmarks she had made, websites she was interested in, and, when she wasn’t focused, websites she had only heard about. Right now drowsiness was beginning to overcome her, and Fia’s reaction in class today, and her silence throughout the rest of it, was heavy on her mind. After blinking twice like there was something in her eye, she glanced upon a certain website for the first time: TheSexCafe.

    At the moment, the image representing it was a billboard, constantly scrolling down as more people posted on it, asking for a partner to spend some time with. But Falena wasn’t interested. She only glanced at it, and then looked away – and immediately looked back. A username had caught her attention, and she drew the image closer for better inspection.

    “GoldenKitteh69 is waiting for a partner,” it read.

    “It couldn’t be... Fia?” she said aloud in cyberspace, and her words echoed around her.

    It was unlikely... No, practically impossible! Fia just wasn’t that kind of girl... Although... she was unnaturally curious. It was part of her charm.

    Falena had to make sure. She put a hand into the image and suddenly the image began to ripple apart at her touch and expand into a window big enough for her entire body to fit through. Falena dove in, headfirst, into TheSexCafe.

    The first room was the lobby, but she didn’t stay long. What looked like a handsome young man had already moved next to the board wall and had GoldenKitteh69’s invitation hovering over his hand. It had expanded from a long horizontal image into a more square-like image with much more text, possibly with more info on GoldenKitteh69. He spoke, his voice gruff, old, loud, and nothing like the young avatar he was using. “Oh, I like her, chehehehh,” he said. Dribble sounded like it was oozing from the man’s mouth, but his avatar looked absolutely pristine.

    Suddenly a second image hovered above the invitation, it said: “Accepted.”

    “Oh hell no you don’t!” Falena’s avatar said, and with barely a thought, hacked him.

    “W-what the-!“ was the man’s last words before his spirit was tackled out of the avatar, and pulled into a black hole.

    And now, Falena was in possession of his avatar, and GoldenKitteh69’s invitation.

    And there was only one way to find out if Fia was its owner...

    May those who accept their fate be granted happiness; to those who defy it, glory.

  2. #2
    kazenohirameki is offline Senior Member Respected Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    On an island
    Posts
    428

    Default

    Although 'Love' is not my favorite issue, the story is overall story (of the 1st part) is quite interesting...of children love...but if try not to make the 2nd part too explicit and turn it to child p**n. Continue, please.

  3. #3
    TheJaggid is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    your computer screen
    Posts
    822

    Default

    I made a few edits to the first half. They're somewhat minor, but I do reference them in the second half. You can get by without them if you're willing to forgive perceived inconsistencies in the second half.


    In an 11th grade classroom, in the middle of lunch, Falena, a raven-haired girl, and Catalie, a short brown-haired girl, sat in their desks arguing. Next to them sat their golden-haired friend Fiamma, who was trying her best to keep up with them.

    It was Falena’s turn to speak: “It’s not! Love is nothing as scientific as that.”

    “How is it not?” asked Catalie. “When you look at it logically, it only makes sense that love is really just a natural animal instinct. We’ve created it as extra incentive to procreate, and it also gives the parents an emotional bond that gets them to stick together to help their child grow.”

    “Fally’s right, Catie!” interjected Fiamma again. “Love is something magical. You can’t just look at it as something that’s... that’s... calculated and... made for convenience!”

    “But it is! Even animals experience love just for those benefits,” insisted Catalie.

    “No way! Animals can’t love! You think fishes and sharks are capable of love?” retorted Falena.

    The argument had been going for about five minutes now. Catalie was pushing that love was not as romantic as everyone was making it out to be, and was little more than just a bunch of chemicals in the brain. Falena pushed that it was something more than that, while Fia exclaimed something about love being the answer.

    “Some animals can; mammals definitely can. What about cats and dogs? Dogs can love, right? Dogs can even love humans,” argued Catalie.

    “They don’t love humans romantically, though,” shot back Falena.

    “But they can love in some form. That they can love humans proves that they may be capable of loving each other.”

    “But that’s still a different love. Having one kind doesn’t prove they can definitely have the other.”

    “No, Catie has a point,” interjected Fia. “Kitties are really cute when they get like that and start purring and...!” Fia seemed to be falling deeper and deeper into her imagination.

    “W...what?” started Falena.

    “See, even Fia agrees,” boasted Catalie.

    “Fia! Don’t give up so easily!” encouraged Falena.

    “But kitties...”

    “Okay, so maybe animals can feel love too,” gave in Falena, “but what about homosexual love?”

    “What about it?” asked Catalie.

    “Animals can’t experience it, right? Humans do, it’s still romantic love, and it doesn’t serve to encourage reproduction or to help raise their child, because they can’t even have one. The fact that homosexual love has no correlation with your scientific view of love proves that love is more than just a natural instinct!”

    “Animals can be homosexual. But that doesn’t matter; homosexuality is just nature’s blunder. It isn’t supposed to exist. The fact that homosexuals can’t reproduce suggests that it’s supposed to die off with them.”

    “It suggests, but there’s no proof that homosexuality is genetic.”

    “Okay, then it’s a social blunder. In any case, it isn’t supposed to exist, and if it isn’t supposed to exist, it can’t say anything against real love as an instinctual mechanic.”

    At that statement, Falena was taken back a bit. That love of the same sex wasn’t real...

    “Who says homo love isn’t real love?” interjected Fia. “Love is love no matter who it’s between. I can definitely love a girl and still call it love!”

    “Yeah! Good one, Fia! Well said!” encouraged Falena, for more reasons than one.

    “Then what is love to you? Falena?” asked Catalie.

    “It’s... ah...” Falena looked at Fiamma for a moment, and noticed how expectantly she was looking at her. Falena wasn’t much of a romantic, but even she knew that love, whatever it was, couldn’t be anything as simple as some evolved natural instinct.

    “You don’t know? You spent this time arguing about something you don’t know yourself?” coaxed Catalie. It looked like she was starting to get serious, and less polite, like a beast getting ready to pound on its prey.

    “Fally?” said Fia, looking notably less expectant, a look that pierced Falena and tightened her chest.

    Fia. Lovely, adorable, idiotic Fia. It seemed to Falena that the only reason she engaged in this argument was for Fia’s honor, in a sense; so that Falena could, for once, act like her knight in shining armor, defending her naďve little perception of love. Falena just wanted to be Fia’s gallant hero, even though Falena was a woman. Even though they were both women, and Fia probably wasn’t that kind of a woman. Falena knew this, but could help herself from hoping anyways, that maybe, just maybe...

    Falena had known for years that she was in love with Fia. It was more than just her bright attitude, her friendly demeanor, or any of that. Falena had more than once... lusted for her... Wanted to touch and bask in her. To her, Fia seemed like a bright golden flame, and Falena was a dirty, ugly moth, endlessly drawn to it. Forever damned to never touch it...

    “...It’s a feeling of deep longing,” she said, consciously keeping herself from looking at Fia, “and of deep respect. It’s more than just pining to be with them, it’s more than just some chemicals in your head. I think...” Falena paused here to actually think. “...It’s the desperate desire for your loved one to be as happy as possible, even if it means hurting yourself. And if hurting yourself doesn’t go against natural instinct, then what does?”

    The bell rang, and suddenly lunch was over.



    Class started.

    “Put on your visors, everyone,” said the teacher.

    Falena, Fia, and Catalie each reached to the side of their desks and pulled up a small, plastic tiara, and placed it on their heads.

    “Today we’ll take a look at biology in Africa, aren’t you excited? Okay, everyone ready? ...Jacking in.”

    Falena’s senses were overtaken by the visor, and suddenly she found herself in an open, yellow, African prairie.

    It seemed to be afternoon here. Cold wind caressed her legs, and the lowering sun forced her to cover her eyes and look away. Smell, touch, and taste existed here too, so Falena opened her hand, composed a copy of her sushi roll in it, and gobbled it up. Sadly, virtual food could do nothing to satisfy real hunger, so satiety here only lasted until she jacked out.

    One by one her fellow classmates joined her in this landscape, and before long they had moved together into their usual social groups. Fia and Catalie were both here with her. Catalie, although a year older than them, was taking this course over again.

    “Let’s get to it,” said the teacher. “Today we’ll be looking at the African lion, the only cat on this planet known to be a social animal, meaning it lives in packs, or ‘prides’ as we call them. To show you how they hunt and distribute their food, here I have programmed one... two... HEY!”

    A few feet behind the teacher were two lions – a male and a female – screwing. The scene uncannily reminded Falena of the famous Circle of Life: since the lions happened to be humping only feet away from a dead wildebeest getting torn apart by their cubs. It was surprisingly deep for such a stupid, dirty joke.

    “Who did this!?” roared the teacher as the class laughed and a group of boys began pushing each other. “I will have you suspended- Farfalle, was it you??“

    “Now that I think of it,” said Catalie, looking away from the scene, disinterested. “You’ve ever wondered what it’s like?”

    “Huh? What is?” asked Falena.

    “Sex. You’ve wondered, right?”

    “W-well...”

    “Actually, is there even anyone you two like?”

    Falena immediately froze stiff and unnaturally turned her head to look Fia – completely against her will.

    Fia’s reaction... “Nope. No one I like.” Falena didn’t know how to react.

    “No?” said Catalie, before sighing. “How lonely. Well… at least the lions seem to be enjoying themselves…”



    Much later that day, closing in on midnight at home, Falena was surfing the web.

    Surfing the web, however, had become more like swimming an ocean. Falena, her mind and body within that warm ocean, jetted through it, passing links and images like they were billboards on a street with no ground or sky. She could easily skim pages she had visited, bookmarks she had made, websites she was interested in, and, when she wasn’t focused, websites she had only heard about. Right now drowsiness was beginning to overcome her, and Fia’s flat “Nope. No one I like” was heavy on her mind, rewinding and replaying over and over.

    After blinking twice like there was something in her eye, she glanced upon a certain website for the first time: TheSexCafe.

    At the moment, the image representing it was a billboard, constantly scrolling down as more people posted on it, asking for a partner to spend some time with. But Falena wasn’t interested. She only glanced at it, and then looked away – and immediately looked back. A username had caught her attention, and she drew the image closer for better inspection.

    “GoldenKitteh69 is waiting for a partner,” it read.

    “It couldn’t be... Fia?” she said aloud in cyberspace, and her words echoed around her.

    It was unlikely... No, practically impossible! Fia just wasn’t that kind of girl... Although... she was unnaturally curious. It was part of her charm.

    Falena had to make sure. She put a hand into the image and suddenly the image began to ripple apart at her touch and expand into a window big enough for her entire body to fit through. Falena dove in, headfirst, into TheSexCafe.

    The first room was the lobby, but she didn’t stay long. What looked like a handsome young man had already moved next to the board wall and had GoldenKitteh69’s invitation hovering over his hand. It had expanded from a long horizontal image into a more square-like image with much more text, possibly with more info on GoldenKitteh69. He spoke, his voice gruff, old, loud, and nothing like the young avatar he was using. “Oh, I like her, chehehehh,” he said. Dribble sounded like it was oozing from the man’s mouth, but his avatar looked absolutely pristine.

    Suddenly a second image hovered above the invitation, it said: “Accepted.”

    “Oh hell no you don’t! LEVEL ONE!” Falena’s avatar said, and with barely a thought, hacked him.

    “W-what the-!“ was the man’s last words before his spirit was tackled out of the avatar, and pulled into a black hole.

    And now, Falena was in possession of his avatar, and GoldenKitteh69’s invitation.

    And there was only one way to find out if Fia was its owner...

    May those who accept their fate be granted happiness; to those who defy it, glory.

  4. #4
    TheJaggid is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    your computer screen
    Posts
    822

    Default

    Sadly, it is already rather explicit. I tried to keep it rather abstract because I found that having pornographic 'penis going into vagina' detail to be out of touch with the essence of the story.

    I want to say now, though, that I do not like writing sex scenes. I just couldn't think of a more interesting scenario with the topic at hand. Plus I wanted to try something I read in Berserk. No guro like the last story, promise.

    That attempt to write something like what I read in Berserk failed, by the way.

    Another fail is that I went back and changed a few details in the first half of the story, so if you find some inconsistencies int he second half, you now know why.

    Second half:
    She entered the room the invitee had reserved for them, a standard cube of cyberspace filled with veils of red mist.

    “Pleased to meet you,” was the first thing she heard. “Um, this is my first time, so... and, although I’ve used toys before... Please be gentle!”

    “That voice... That... body...” It was unmistakably Fia. All of a sudden Falena’s arms and legs were bound in golden rings, and she was left in suspended animation, her body like a five-pronged asterisk. Something stroked her. No, not something. Fia. A naked, beautiful Fia was...

    “Okay... The video said... Like this...?”

    “Fi... Fi...?” No, Falena shouldn’t say anything. If Fia knew it was her right now...

    Being bound, Falena could no longer jack out and escape. She couldn’t just let Fia continue either, but even if she tried to explain herself, letting Fia know it was her she was stroking would be...

    Wait, ‘stroking’?

    Falena had forgotten; right now, her body was that of a man’s. Fia continued stroking Falena, slowly escalating, thumbing the tip and using her other hand to rub Falena’s lower belly. Fia’s stroking hand was warm, and soft, and surprisingly... nimble. Had Fia... done this to others before? Was this why she wasn’t interested in anybody? Had she always been doing things like this, every night? Was sex here taking care of her physical needs in the place of love in the real world? Was that how love worked? No, she said this was her first time. It was the video she mentioned, whatever that perverted video was. It had to be the video’s fault. Fiamma was easily influenced, after all. She would never do something crazy like this on her own.

    Right?

    Suddenly, the warmth evolved into a burning heat she had never experienced before, and, to Falena’s horror, her member had evolved several sizes, completely against her will.

    The stroking ceased. “Now...?” began Fia, before wordlessly widening her mouth again, and taking Falena’s monster into it. Warmth, wet and soft, wrapped itself around Falena’s new midsection, and as Fia blew her, her warmth moving up and down her, Falena found herself helplessly twitching her legs within their bindings, shifting this way and that, fighting something unknown to her, flexing her digital muscles, both struggling against it and maximizing its pleasure.

    Something welled up in her, getting ready to gush out. Falena tried to hold it in but soon realized she had no idea how. Fia hands moved below her shaft and suddenly-

    CRUSHING!

    “HNN!” Overwhelming pain replaced overwhelming pleasure, and Falena’s highjacked avatar looked down at Fia in horror.

    “Oh, sorry!” said Fia. “In the video it said... Um, did it hurt?”

    Fia, despite being in such a situation, was still surprisingly sweet; sweaty, dirty, and still... so sweet...

    “It’s your turn,” suggested Fia. “So... make me feel good.” Fia laid back into thin air, spread open her legs, placed her hands at her hips, and closed her eyes.

    Falena’s member, twitching from the pain and what remained of the preceding pleasure, pointed right into Fia. Suddenly Falena’s bindings vanished. Now she could escape, but...

    Fia was right in front of her. Her body exposed to her, wanting, waiting for her. Her face flushed, eyes open, she stared excitedly at Falena’s member. She breathed heavily, and her hips slowly swooned up and down in anticipation.

    Me. She wants… no, she wants this, Falena thought, and it was obvious what she was referring to. It was indeed not Falena Fia wanted. She wanted a man, not a woman.

    But… Falena was a man. Maybe not in real life, but there and then, Falena the woman did not exist, only the man did. Only the man with the girl’s mind. She could take Fia here, as a man, just as Fia wanted.

    But doubt still tugged at her. She once again tried to think of a reason to leave, but suddenly her mind could think of nothing but Fia, still there, hovering in space, waiting for her. Finally…

    “Come on,” begged Fia in a cute little whisper, and that was all it took to make up Falena’s mind.

    It’s a feeling of deep longing, she remembered herself saying once before, and of deep respect and understanding.

    What understanding? “Respect”? They’re just words. Only words.

    Falena placed herself between Fia’s legs, slid her hand down her thigh, up, and then down closer to where the warmth and the sweat felt its fullest. She finally moved her hand aside, and inserted herself into Fia.

    “Mmh!” was Fia’s first moan. She looked down to see Falena moving in and out of her, and Falena, mind dazed and lost, realized that she was looking at it too. The pleasure invaded her again, and before she knew it, she was holding Fia in her arms and they were taking their tongues into each other’s mouths.

    The night continued. Their bodies, naked and free, though one of them hijacked, continued to hover in digital space. They pressed against each other, held one another, tighter and tighter, wrapping around one another, almost coalescing. As the passion escalated, their bodies began clawing at one another, groping wherever they could reach, digging into their hottest crevices, hounding for the most sensitive scraps of their bodies. They grinded, they groped, they licked, and tasted each other’s digital flesh, but nothing could satisfy their hunger for one another, instead it escalated further and further, until finally:

    “We’re almost there!” moaned Fia. “Keep going like this! Just don’t stop!”

    But Falena couldn’t keep her pace. He hips thrust consecutively harder and harder, violently ravaging Fia’s body.

    “You’re too fast! Too fast!! Slow.... Slow... Aaah~!

    “Aah-“ began Falena. “Mmmmmh-!” She bit her lips to keep them shut.

    Falena’s mind was slowly going blank, the pleasure became the only thing her body could understand anymore. Her face hovered inches from Fia’s, savoring the sight of her pleasure-stricken face, compounding it with the pleasure within her.

    “Yes! Yes! I’m coming! Farfalle, I’m coming!!

    Farfalle?

    The pleasure welling inside of Falena bursted out of her, spilling itself inside of Fia, staining her insides, some of it spilling outside.

    Farfalle?

    But the pleasure subsided before long, leaving Falena with-

    Farfalle?

    -a sense-

    Farfalle?

    -of utter-

    Farfalle?

    -shame and guilt.

    Farfalle, a boy in their class. That boy that had hacked their teacher’s lesson earlier that day. That pretty boy, who’s popular with everyone in class. That boy...

    “Oh G-God,” trembled Fia’s orgasm. “Oh God! Farfalle~! ”

    The boy that Fia liked, or maybe loved.

    The pleasure was completely gone, and a sense of worthlessness had invaded Falena’s body in its place.

    She wasn’t the one Fia wanted to be with. What Fia longed for, most likely, was him. Farfalle.

    Not her.

    Not Falena.

    Something new welled up in her. That bastard, Farfalle... How did he do it? How did he get Fia to fall for him?

    Falena’s hips started moving again.

    Not her.

    Not the lesbian.

    “...H-huh?” started Fia. “W-wait!”

    Falena did not. Her hips kept moving. Angrily. Faster and faster, slapping against Fia’s thighs, faster and faster.

    “Stop! This doesn’t feel good anymore!”

    Harder and harder.

    Not her.

    Not the ugly one.

    That bastard Farfalle!!

    “Stop! You’re hurting me!” cried Fia.

    She kept going.

    Not her.

    Not Falena.

    Falena came inside her again, but instead of hugging Fia as she once did, she dug her fingers into her shoulders, keeping Fia and her steady, her hips penetrating as deeply as they could into Fia as she finished.

    Not her.

    Shame and guilt overcame her again.

    “Not me,” Falena spoke.

    “St... F... Falena...!?” screamed Fia. And Falena realized what she was doing. And Falena fell into despair.

    Rape. She could see Fia’s tears. Suddenly she could remember Fia’s face... her pain-stricken face. Filled with horror and anguish. Yes, rape. She just raped Fia.

    “I...” She backed away, out from inside Fia. “I’m sorry, Fia! I’m so, so sorry!!” cried Falena. Suddenly an idea struck her, the best idea ever, she thought, and she took it. “Goodbye. LEVEL THREE!” A black hole opened behind Falena, and began dragging her in. Now, if only she could use this black hole to erase Fia’s memories of her. Sadly she hadn’t programmed it be so convenient. It would simply take Falena in, and crush her soul, effectively killing the mind inside her physical body. She could never meet Fia face to face ever again, dead or alive, so Falena would disappear, freeing herself from this shame and guilt, and freeing Fia from ever having to look at her rapist again.

    Goodbye, world.

    Goodbye, school.

    Goodbye, Catalie.

    Goodbye, Fia. Beautiful, silly... sad Fia.

    “DON’T!” Fia grabbed her hand before Falena could be pulled in. Tears flew from her face, into Falena’s. “I’m sorry! I knew! I knew you liked me, but!!” Fia’s grip tightened, and her tears swelled even more. Falena didn’t know what to think, or couldn’t. “I can’t return your feelings! I love you! ---But not in that way!! I still love you, though! So please...! Please! Don’t die!!”



    In Falena’s room, Falena’s body stirred, and she lifted her head from her desk. Her face was wet with tears. Her panties were soaked too, though not with sperm. She checked to make sure.

    It was long past midnight, and she still needed to take a shower. Later in the morning she would see Fia again at school, though it would be awkward.

    Or maybe not.

    Fia was just the kind of girl to break through barriers like those without a care. Their friendship would continue, if maybe with a little more tension than before. But it’ll continue. It’ll continue... just the way it always has...

    Then, with a mysterious sense of relief, Falena headed for the shower, contemplating love and its many faces; contemplating it as instinct, or as magic. “A curse, maybe.”

    May those who accept their fate be granted happiness; to those who defy it, glory.

  5. #5
    kazenohirameki is offline Senior Member Respected Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    On an island
    Posts
    428

    Default

    Yay, the continuation!

    Well, after reading the whole story, I wonder what is the age range of a child before he/she start thinking of 'serious' sex because the from this story, 11th Grade too young (for me) to think about that.

    And I was thinking that we're going to a Yuri path until Falena took over the man(?) avatar.

    Then Fia mention about it being her first time and playing with toys... I can tell you how outrageous the line sounds to me and I wish Falena done her right there and then! hahaha. It's more understandable if it was her first time with real man rather than toy.

    By the way, if you want to make it more explicit, maybe you should review Fia's word when she beg - just a single 'come on' doesn't sound enticing and inviting. You also try mentioning that building pressure towards the release. I recommend you to try read romance book as a study.

    Also ref to line 14 after CRUSHING, it's better not to mention Falena the first time since I guess this sentence is more to Fia's point of view and she doesn't know yet the man is Falena.

    Lastly, if think that the story end at this, I think it's too abrupt. It will become a cliff hanger ending. You could add an epilogue of a paragraph or two to show the fate/relationship between the two, although there is room for a sequel.

    I hope the comments above led you in a positive path. Please continue writing. I enjoy reading your story!

  6. #6
    TheJaggid is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    your computer screen
    Posts
    822

    Default

    Probably should've made it "Come on~" instead.

    You're right about the 14th line after CRUSHING part. Completely missed that.

    An extra sentence or two to show that they did get back to normal in the end might have worked, but I felt that a moment with Falena by herself was most appropriate. The focus of the story was about 'her feelings' moreso than 'their relationship' after all, so I felt that having her think about that and worry about how they affected her relationship with Fia, instead of actually showing the status of their relationship, made the most sense.

    May those who accept their fate be granted happiness; to those who defy it, glory.

 

 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
vBulletin Skin by: ForumThemes.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162