Hmmm... you're making the same basic mistake that I find a lot of new video game designers (especially those that come from writing or art) making. Do not mix up story with gameplay. From what you've posted so far, I see a lot of details about the lore and the setting, but very little about the actual gameplay.
Of course, this could be because your project or course requirements focus on this aspect (it's probably what your poly syllabus is teaching...), so it's not entirely your fault, but you need to be aware that 90% of real game design is not about story, it's about statistics (especially for an RPG/TBS game). It's items 4-9 that will constitute your game design, not items 1-3. And I see very little detail on those points.
4. The Main Objectives in the Game:
Okay, so what are the possible primary objectives? And list down all the secondary objectives. How will these secondary objectives influence the ending? Exactly how many modes of play do you actually have, and which ones are associated with which campaigns or setttings? Don't leave things so vague. What are the criteria for getting those achievements, and what are the achievements?
The main objectives in the game vary depending on the campaign or game setting.
For example, playing the multiplayer or skirmish modes will require you to fill objectives for a single level. Achievements for making certain criteria on multiplayer and skirmish modes can be unlocked.
In the various campaigns however, will range depending on which race is being played, and which paths you choose in the game. Completing certain secondary objectives may influence the ending of the campaign you're playing.
Okay, so what exactly are these rewards? Are they exp points, or items? If they are items, which items are they? Do you have a list of all possible items in the game? How do you select which ones to reward the player with - especially if some are more valuable/useful than others? Do you want a completely random-choice system which may cause the most powerful item in the game to be found by a newbie player? If not, then how will you classify the items and assign them at the right time to the player?
5. Reward System:
Based on the scoring system, the rewards you earn at the end of a level are determined by your skill, the time you took to finish the level, and the tactics you used. Players may also find treasures hidden in some levels, as well as finding loot in storage devices (chests barrels, coffers, etc) and on enemy/allied corpses.
If they are exp points, how do you determine how many points to award the player? Do you have a formula to calculate the amount of exp, or the value of the items, to give to the player, based upon the stated factors of "your skill, the time you took to finish the level, and the tactics you used"? Is there a table of values that shows me the difference in rewards if I use Tactic X instead of Tactic Y? In order to have a complete game design, you will need to include all of these formulae, or at least tables of values. Similarly for treasure chests as well.
Okay, but more details needed. How many secondary characters can you have? If they can die, how can you get more? WHICH secondary objectives will affect WHICH levels, and by how much?
6. Punishment System:
If a primary character dies in a level, you must revert to the start of the last turn, or start the level again. Also if your secondary characters die, they are gone forever, and cannot be revived. Failing to do certain secondary objectives can effect how hard certain levels may be, or how hard a future level may be.
"Time taken per level" is inconsistent with turn-based tactical systems, unless you're planning on something like speed chess. How are you going to measure player skill? Or more precisely, how will the computer recognise the player's level of ability? And how to identify tactics he/she is using? Do you have a list of pre-defined tactical formations which the computer will recognise if the player uses them? Or will it be like Romance of the Three Kingdoms, where "tactics" are actually a player's action/skill? Again, even if there is no score shown to the player, you must have some sort of internal score which you use to measure how well the player did, in order to receive bonus rewards. So how is this internal score calculated, and how does it correspond to the amount/type of rewards?
The game features no scoring, it focuses rather on player skill, time taken per level, and tactics used. It balances these to allow the player to receive bonus rewards for the next mission.
Ignoring the setting (which is easily interchangeable with any generic fantasy adventure), give me the structure of the campaign. How many levels will there be? What new gameplay challenge does each level offer to the player? Where are you going to have the branching path point - is it at the first level, or later? If it's at the first level, why not just two separate campaigns? How do the paths differ from each other? Do you have sketches of the level layouts/maps, to show interesting gameplay choices (eg. chokepoints, traps, inaccessible/dangerous areas, concentrations of enemies here and there, locations of treasure chests, etc.)? At least show me something like the diagram below:
8. Different Levels of the Game:
The levels chosen are from several concept campaigns:
~1.The Black Wolf Amongst Men: This is the first level of the Human Campaign. Here you play as Freanwulf "Black Wolf" of Thoralea, an outlawed soldier and his men. During this level a small army of Orcs lead by Kol'Gav the Mighty attack a nearby village, while Bandits see this as an opportunity to attack the other villages. Depending on weather you fight off the Orcs or the Bandits, Freanwulf's story will advance in two paths.
Repeat for each level of the campaign, and for each and every campaign you want.
Remember, game design comes down to the details. Ideas are worth nothing without implementation. As a game designer, your job is to design the blueprints (with all relevant measurements and statistics) for all the game systems and objects/characters. In short, if you really want to make this game, you will need (at minimum):
- A list of all items and equipment in the game, with all values associated with them (price, damage done/reduced, weight, type, element, etc.) You can include sketches of these as well.
- A list of all types of units/characters and relevant statistics (strength, agility, HP, MP, movement, initiative, etc., recruit price, recruit location, job/class, weapon types equippable, armor types equippable, accessories equippable, etc.) Again, concept art and sketches, or actual models.
- Campaign structures for all campaigns in the game.
- Level layouts for all levels in the game. (If you've been taught 3Ds max or Maya, these can be very quick prototyping tools to lay out your levels. Then just take screenshots)
- Sketches for all environment objects in the game (rocks, trees, snow, grass, etc.)
- Interface layout for all game screens (menus, inventory, start screen, save/load screen, character status screens, main gameplay screen, battle screen, etc.) and screenflow diagram showing how they all fit together.
- List of all controls / buttons and what they do.
However, if you're forced by your project requirements to only include the items you mentioned above, and to present it in powerpoint as an artistic game concept, rather than an actual working game design, then I suggest you focus on thinking about how to make things innovative. What's different about your game's style from the 99% other fantasy-based turn-based tactics/RPG games out there? Do your characters and races have unique skills not seen in previous games, which can change the way you fight battles? (eg. Is your world circular, and you spend most of your time mixing items to destroy enemies in order to bring about the end of the world (OdinSphere)? Do you constantly switch back and forth between the real world and the spirit world, and control two characters at once (The World is Not Enough)?) Even if you want to stick to variations on typical fantasy RPG/TBS, at least try to come up with more innovative uses of the campaigns and races. Is there a Day/Night cycle that enhances some units and weakens others (WarCraft III, Wesnoth)? Can you create an aerial battle using the Inver'eons and the Dragonkin, or an amphibious campaign for the Sarcile, instead of the standard two-land-based-armies-fighting-on-a-plain? What about a game of siegecraft and sabotage, fighting from fort to fort?
Generally-speaking, you just need to put more thought and details into items 4-9, and come up with specific examples that you can actually walk the player through, if necessary, not just vague ideas like "There will be 6 characters, and 6 races... oh, and um.. 10 swords, and a bunch of job classes. Oh, all of these races and items and classes will come from standard fantasy. I'll just copy them from all the other games I've played."
Since you're taking a full course in Video Game Design and Animation, and have asked for feedback, I presume you're serious about entering the games industry. Even if your course doesn't fully prepare you for what's really required of a game designer/animator, it's up to you to show that you have the potential and dedication to go beyond what's required coursework and do the actual necessary work of getting a game design out... even if it's just background work that will never be presented in your project proposal. That's what employers will be looking for... excellence above and beyond what your teacher wants from you, and strict attention to all the nitty-gritty details. (Though, of course, we're likely to lose you to the army for 2 years anyway... so I guess employment isn't a big thing as yet.)