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Thread: Comic

  1. #121
    silverwmoon is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishman View Post
    EDIT: Why a bow?!
    v_v
    awww lololol

    *grins at her picture* lol yeah that's about right >_> *smiles*

  2. #122
    vphamv is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishman View Post
    ...

    /bakes a batch of cookies with flecks of rubidium[alkali metal] inside crystals of sugar
    /tosses in air
    /runs

    EDIT: Why a bow?!
    v_v
    Cause a hime have to look cute and purdy. Duh. =P
    Quote Originally Posted by StealDragon View Post
    Where am I? :'(
    Sowwie, working at the pace of a sea turtle. xD
    Have not thought of any concept for you as of yet. Eventually i'll post concepts of everyone except for bosses, since I can't give anything away.
    Street Fighter > All


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  3. #123
    bipolargraph is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    My dexterity sucks, and I'm as clumsy as a koala bear. If there are any important quest items that are accidentally dropped/allies killed by accident then it should be my fault. (and I use nunchuka's too if you want a concept weapon for me, I don't hit my head often, but sometimes I accidentally let them go...)

  4. #124
    Chizabubble is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Ohhhhh~~~ I like my top/wings/hair/everything
    Gvaz is a growlite. Or is it a Arcanine?

    Nevermind, I don't care. But now we have a pokemon and a tamer.

    I love Steal! <3

  5. #125
    be0wulf is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Gvaz is an Arcanine.

    And that's trainer, not tamer.


    http://www.chunlikickedme.com

  6. #126
    vphamv is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Possible short release tomorrow, depending on how quick the one anonymous person and I work. It'll be either late tomorrow or early Friday.

    PS. Anyone who does not have a concept art posted as of now probably won't see one until the actually comic is released, or at least the portion with them is. Since it might give away certain things, but maybe not so there's some possibilities. Just uh...don't get your hopes up. xD
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  7. #127
    vphamv is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Double post~

    So I lied, didn't get it out on thursday or friday. Kinda busy and other person helping me was too.

    Here's links to the first chapter:

    Prelude of ST
    And for those of you who always seem to have problems with sendspace... a mediafire link!
    Prelude of ST.zip

    Small chapter yes, but I've just been working on my own pace and doing it when i feel like it or have the spare time. Text is bad, dunno how to do it all nice but whatever. :S Next chapter will be a lot longer, not sure how long it'll take since some of the story isn't really finalized just yet.

    edit-
    Stupid sendspace. D:
    Last edited by vphamv; 02-24-2008 at 12:27 PM.
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  8. #128
    csuti's Avatar
    csuti is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Can I can I can I point out mistakes, and give hints?
    'cause:

    WARNING: spoilers below.
















































    page 1:
    "a ruler who enslaved the the people"
    Remove a "the."

    hint: Use Wild Words Roman for your text.
    torrent (If you dl this, can you up it on megaupload/mediafire/sth?)



    page 2:
    "Years passed but one day, the evil king had suddenly died."
    I whould re-word this.
    "Years passed... And out of no where, the king was dead."
    This sounds bad too. But maybe there's a way to fix it.



    page 3:
    "Some say it was because [...]"
    "Wile others said he [...]"

    Either use "say" or "said" but not the two together. Keep it consistant.
    "While others said he died because he got AIDS with all the ghey butt smex."
    "Either way, no one knows exactly how it happned."
    I would suggest making it into two boxes. (And add the comma after "way")

    "With Tazmo's reign over, many have fallen in the war but they will not be forgotten."
    This sentence makes it sound like many had fallen because Tazmo's reign was over.
    "Tazmo's reign was now over. Many had fallen in the war, but they will not be forgotten."

    page 4:
    "[...] and all was peacefully."

    hint: Instead of the "X years" you should actually add a number, I think. It's your call tho.

    "Until suddenly one day the Mods from StopTazmo Island AKA (ST Island) suddenly starting tattacking eachother for ownership of each other's subsections."
    You use "suddenly" twice, so you should take one out. Also, it's not "starting attacking."
    "Until suddenly one day, Mods from StopTazmo Island (A.K.A. St Island) started attacking eachother for ownership of each others' subsections."

    "Soon the peaceful place known as ST Island had started to crumble under the Mod's ambitions to take over the land for themselves."
    You have already stated that this place is known as ST Island, so you should leave that out.
    "Soon, this peaceful place started crumbling under the Mods' ambitions to take over the land for themselves."



    Page 5:
    "The Mods soon split up. Leaving each person to their own."
    "They soon split up, leaving each person to their own."

    "And soon the attacks started, sending people to steal from other's subsections."
    You use "soon" way too much, imho.
    "Within no time, the attacks started, sending people to steal from thers' subsections."
    I don't know about "sending people" though. I guess it could work.

    "And so, this once united kingdom has split into subsections, leaving every man from themself. The power stuggle still continues between the Mods to this day. No one knows how it started or how it will end, but The Adventure of Sir Stubby starts today!"
    "[...]leaving every man for themselves."



    Overall, I think you need to rething this "subsection" thing. In the begining, they have subsections but they're peaceful. Now at the end, you say "this once united kingdom has split into subsections," but it was always divided. You might need to change what they're figting over.

    Also, I think you're mixing your text between present and past tense. You might want to make it consistant. If you're talking about the past, like you are in this first chapter, you should make everything past tense.

    You might want to look for a proof reader. :P



































    Not bad, I like it so far. What happend to Kaom tho? I though she was on the first page.

  9. #129
    vphamv is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    I realized I used my rough draft for the text. =_='

    There's going to be a V2 of this... >_>

    Edit-

    csuti- it was just a preview of what was to come. Not what was going to be released right away. =D
    Last edited by vphamv; 02-24-2008 at 03:13 PM.
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  10. #130
    csuti's Avatar
    csuti is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    ^ gotcha

    chap.2 then maybe??

 

 
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