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  1. #1
    RoseBladeSamurai is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    May 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
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    18

    Default Poetry by Black Rose

    Since I write a lot of poetry, more than anything else, I have decided that I will post all of my poems in this topic instead of making a new topic each and every time I write a poem or feel like posting an older poem that I have not yet placed here.

    I do not have the authority to make rules, but I do have some requests.

    - Please do not post your own poetry.
    - Please do not "bash, flame, etc." my poems.
    - If you have something negative to say, please word it responsably in a critique.
    - When critiquing please actually critique my poetry. No, "That was awsome. man." "Your really good." "I liked it." Or any other lame, short, unthoughtful insight on my poems.
    - If you do not like my poetry, or have a problem with the fact that they are mainly emo then do not read them.
    - This place is not for conversations unless you wish to have an intelligent conversation over a piece of my poetry, or even your own, in which case feel free to post a poem of yours.
    - All my poems will be in purple, please refrain from using that color.
    - I'll probably think of more as people do things I don't care for.
    - As time goes on I may add more.


    TBR~
    Sig removed (too big).

  2. #2
    RoseBladeSamurai is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    May 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
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    Default

    What Lies Beneath

    What lies beneath this stone-cold heart,
    Where my secrets are safe and I'm torn apart.
    In that darkness demons strive,
    And angels on the outside
    Shall never reach the sky,
    And the angels on the inside
    Shall all burn and die.

    Now I must find my way through your lies
    Where time is just a variable to keep me bound
    To the blinding darkness that surrounds.

    You see?
    The truth is that we are all born to die
    Beneath our stone-cold hearts built upon lies.
    And in its shadows dwell my love, hate, and pain,
    Hidden away with my heart's shattered remains,
    Left alone to age and grow
    And eventually become a rage to fuel my soul.

    So, what lies beneath this stone-cold heart?
    Nothing, It was all in my head from the start.
    Sig removed (too big).

  3. #3
    ruffneck168 is offline Member Frequent Poster
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    43

    Default

    wow....couldnt have written anything liek that..it flows realli well...my poems arnt as good as that. u used good imagery and the emotion from what u read is realli clear...its brutally honest and its sadness can relate to alot of people. good grammer it helps change the tone of the whole poem. i like the way how u rhymed the poem too. you should try more advanced types of literary terms? lol but overall very good

  4. #4
    RoseBladeSamurai is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    May 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ruffneck168 View Post
    wow....couldnt have written anything liek that..it flows realli well...my poems arnt as good as that. u used good imagery and the emotion from what u read is realli clear...its brutally honest and its sadness can relate to alot of people. good grammer it helps change the tone of the whole poem. i like the way how u rhymed the poem too. you should try more advanced types of literary terms? lol but overall very good
    Thank you. Using better and more mature literary terms is a problem of mine. I'm fine with it, as long as I go through and edit my terms after the poem is written, but I don't like to change what I write because then it wouldn't be in its original form, the form that came from my heart. I apolagize(sp) to the admins and mods, but I will be making a double post here since I don't want to place my next poem along with this reply.
    Sig removed (too big).

  5. #5
    RoseBladeSamurai is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
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    Default

    Rememberance

    Sometimes I wonder why I crave what I do?
    Why I so badly want her who I can not have
    And who I want more is even farther from my grasp.
    Why does she appear so low,
    So interested in popularity and looks alone,
    When in reality her heart is large and kind,
    Though I view it as mean and hurtful at times?

    There are moments when I question my sanity-
    The glass is always half empty.

    I guess I just need to mature
    And further develop my views on life
    Because these melancholy and morbid thoughts won't suffice.

    Despite all that is in plain sight.
    I still view life without a hint of light.
    I dream that you can make it better,
    I dream that I didn't dream of us together.

    All the while I lower my head
    Only wishing I can cry instead.
    Then I awake to see you sitting to my left.
    Suddenly I remember everything that you said.
    Sig removed (too big).

 

 

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