Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 15 of 15
  1. #11
    IssalrocRIP is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csuti View Post
    already banned eh? good going
    I just want to see you well, you know I love you, right?

  2. #12
    mystic_guard_sinoel is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The 14th Moon
    Posts
    5,234

    Default

    I thought you loved CPR. Am I wrong?

  3. #13
    IssalrocRIP is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Yes. My heart was broken, but it's allright now. In fact it's a gas.

  4. #14
    Subliminal is offline Member Frequent Poster
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    51

    Default

    What does she recieve praise for such relatively enthusiastic creation, whereas I do not get even a semblance of the unbridled praise as she? Joking :P Or am I?
    And all that's best of dark and bright, meets in her aspect, and her eyes.

  5. #15
    csuti's Avatar
    csuti is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,841

    Default

    Dug up some old poems. I believe these are about 4~5 years old.


    Drop by Drop

    Even in the dead silence,
    I can hear a splash on the ground
    As a blood drop shatteres.
    But my heart makes no sound.

    My heart bleeds slowly
    Drop by Drop...
    Leaving no sound of a beat,
    Only a red liquidy mark...


    _____________________________


    Help...

    The world left me behind,
    With no one to help me.
    She closed me in darkness,
    With no map to guide...

    She looked at me
    With a cold smile on her face.
    And as I struggled for freedome,
    Lifted it away from me,
    As I reached out for the light...



    The whole second stanza seems to be messed up wording wise. Any suggestions?
    Meh. Infact this whole thing is messed up. =P Emo kid.

    _____________________________


    Shadows

    In the shadows I sit and wait,
    For all the pain to fade away...

    I wipe away my bloody tears,
    And try to run from all my fears.



    Again the second stanza's weird.. The placement of the "I" in the first line switches.



    I've some more .. but they're waaay too bad to post. =P
    I'll just take crits/comments/suggestions for these 3.

    Go full out, be as harsh as you'd like ^___^

 

 
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
vBulletin Skin by: ForumThemes.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162