Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18
  1. #11
    keis is offline Senior Member Well Known
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    University
    Posts
    317

    Default

    Hmm...quite interesting and a good start. Try and work on improving your drawing style and work on your body. I like the detail you put into the sword though. I feel that you kinda rushed the 'manga' by trying to start with more of an action sort of approach for the beginning.
    Sugiyama's pose was quite nice in my opinion, but feels and looks like One Piece to an extent.
    You need to learn how to shade properly with your characters an environment, as it can turn a plain picture in to quite a more realistic piece of art.
    You need to work on the hair. Anime and manga style hair isnt a paper's thickness, so you need to add more mass to the hair area. Even Kenshin had more hair on his head (referring to pg. and, even though I have a rough idea on the hair style, dont make the hair strands that minimal and thick. The Hair is one of the most fun parts of drawing ^_^ Have more fun with his hair and add more mass to the entire hair so it doesnt look like he is about to go bald. You wouldn't want your hair to look like that... or do you =P
    And, you need to work on your hair shading too... You add too much light on just one section of the hair. Spread it out and thin the light a tad.
    Please don't make a normal face-to-face eye level scene where the character's feet are bigger than his face...makes them look silly...
    I like the facial expressions so that is a plus ^_^
    Try using Wild Words instead of that font you use to make it look more 'manga'-y -> Get it here

    And does his hair style like...change every couple of pages? In one he has it in pony-tail in another there isnt no pony tail...And also with the clothing design. One he had chain links on the chest plate and the other its just a metal pate instead. Also...pg.15 his head looks like an onion, but the mindless stance he is making looks cool.

    Btw...good stuff for your first try. Interesting read too. Work on your drawing, and its all good. I wish you luck with your future chapters. Nice detail to stuff though...

    Edit: Try limit the over-use of speech and try and create the info text boxes to try and push the story along. You should also try adding the norm of japanese hiragana and katakana sound effect characters to make it feel more like a manga. With what Kratsee said about the story, write it down before drawing something. Try and get a story down on paper/word processor and try to make a rough storyboard before just drawing something right off the mark. Even if the storyboard was just a 5sec scribble on paper, its worth it so you dont screw the rest of your work on the page up. (For example, I drew a 5 sec scrap of my sig on paper before I made it, its a good idea to make scrap images first).
    WHERE IS THE FEMALE CHARACTER?!? WHAT IS A MANGA WITHOUT A FEMALE?!? CRAZY?!?

    >.> Need to work on cleaning my rants up
    Last edited by keis; 11-14-2006 at 05:26 AM. Reason: More things added ^_^

    Listen to the noise

  2. #12
    Minow the Great is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ecuador, South America
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Ara... minna-san, thanks for your advices and for taking the time to read through my humble artwork... ^^; I'll work really hard on improving, and be sure I will mind your advices thanks once again!!

  3. #13
    damienangelico is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    17

    Default

    I'm liking the art style here. There is nothing wrong that can't be cleaned up with experience. Good job. I'm also in the process of drawing an original work. Check out my thread if you're interested.

  4. #14
    Wayfarerstrife is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Minow the Great View Post
    So yea, i know i suck at the forums, but i just love to promote my works ^_^ so i'd like anyone to check my comic and if possible criticize it... perhaps tell me how to improve or tip me, but softly plz... 'cause i tend to go berserk when people talk to me like masters... warned! anyway, the link is ~ if anyone read it, i'd be more than happy ^_^ i know it's not too good, but... hey! i wanna be better! and we all love manga! Thanks for your attention!
    Rain of swords ... nice name.

    Quote Originally Posted by kratsee View Post
    I've read your comic and now for the critic.

    What needs work:
    Story telling
    Drawing
    Presentation of finished pages
    Word balloons


    Suggestions and suggestions on how to improve:

    ~ ~ ~

    And one more thing.
    I'm glad to see that you are working on comic pages instead of illustrations. Keep up the good work! Comic pages are better for critics because it gives others a chance to get more familiar with your art style instead of illustrations. I mentioned your backgrounds before, but I also wanted to say good job on having them. I did notice you did perspective, keep it up.
    Don't worry kratsee, your criticisms isn't really harsh. Your tone and style of speech is a lot better than a lot of people online who just exclaims : " This sucks! " without providing reasons to it. Any form of criticism is good when you can learn from it.

    Anyway, I found some points to add on.
    ( Sorry, if it is quite long ... )

    Art - Related ...

    Continuity between panels ... => could be improved, since your fight sequences and character dialogue feel quite static.

    Strokes / Lineart => Inking and Outlining the characters and borders could improve the feel of the comic. Darn, Photoshop is just so good at this. But if you can't get it, try to find Corel Painter or another Imaging Tool that is good for the job. If you really can't find any, try to use a good inking pen and some tracing paper to trace over your original piece in case you damage it while inking it.

    Shading / Backgrounds => Nice beginner's attempt at it, try to improve on it for a more professional look. More references and practice, and you will get better. ^.^"

    Poses => Like what kratsee said, get someone to pose for you or search for reference pictures. You could also use guiding lines to form the base of the pose before drawing on it.

    Story - Related ...

    Research => Doing a good martial art epic ( or even any story ), is to do background research. It would make fight sequences and techniques more realistic and feasible for the characters.

    Extra tips : There is a girl in your comic that does a unique blend of Taiqi swordplay and ninja techniques. Taiqi ( or Tai chi ) is known to be a soft martial art that uses circular motion to parry/ shift away the force of an incoming blow and counter with the force gain from the flowing movement ( imagine something like Aikido. ) while Ninjitsu is known to use a method call Tai Sabaki to evade blows by shifting the body out of the path of movement.
    Getting her to use straight forward blows like in Karate or Kendo would make her look a bit weird. You could get a friend to try out the movements with you to make the character's fighting technique to seem more natural ... ^.^"
    ( Since it would be weird to see a defensive character to be incredibly aggressive or a soft technique practitioner to whack an opponent with hard strikes. )

    Tying down the plot : Try to visualise how the story flows, to prevent it from becoming to messy or out of point. Plot holes usually occur when authors written something without remembering what they mentioned earlier. ( Eg, Dragons are afraid of water ... but strangely, a dragon appears in front of our protagonist from a lake ... filled with water. ) Try to think of how to end is as well, since most stories tend to start off well but end abruptly with many questions unanswered.

    Tips again => Try to use the basic 3 acts.
    Act 1 : Call to Journey ( The hero/protagonist beginning his quest. )
    Act 2 : Development of main characters as he strives for goal, learns from mentors and defeat threshold guardians.
    Act 3 : To the Climate and Epilogue ( aka final boss/antagonist battle and what happens after that ... all main questions finally answered. )

    Creating Character Depth / Emotion => Putting in backstory and motivation for each of the characters, affecting the way they behave and the way they fight. Some character, like Leon for instance, can have a good backstory to explain why is he motivated to be merciless and 'evil'. ( Most villians in stories were once normal or even 'good' people until a dramatic event turned them into their current selves. ) Emotion is also important since people in real life don't really live with only one mood or react to a situation in a single way.

    Extra tips : Make a list for each character and write down a few facts about them including:
    What happened to them in the past ? ( where were they both and how they lived etc ... )
    How did the characters get their present characteristics ?
    What motivates them to fight ?
    How do they normally speak or act ?
    Who trained them in their skills ?
    Who are they related to ?
    What other quirks or unique traits do they have ? ( aka what do they do when they are free ? Not all wanderers spent all their time just wandering around without eating or sleeping. )

    Character Arcs : Sub-plots outside the main story, mainly dealing with character goals and motivations, as well as the development of relationship between each other.

    Anyway, here is the end of my long list of points ... I hope you find them useful ...
    Last edited by Wayfarerstrife; 08-11-2007 at 12:57 AM. Reason: adding in a few extra points

  5. #15
    Minow the Great is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ecuador, South America
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wayfarerstrife View Post
    Rain of swords ... nice name.



    Don't worry kratsee, your criticisms isn't really harsh. Your tone and style of speech is a lot better than a lot of people online who just exclaims : " This sucks! " without providing reasons to it. Any form of criticism is good when you can learn from it.

    Anyway, I found some points to add on.
    ( Sorry, if it is quite long ... )

    Art - Related ...

    Continuity between panels ... => could be improved, since your fight sequences and character dialogue feel quite static.

    Strokes / Lineart => Inking and Outlining the characters and borders could improve the feel of the comic. Darn, Photoshop is just so good at this. But if you can't get it, try to find Corel Painter or another Imaging Tool that is good for the job. If you really can't find any, try to use a good inking pen and some tracing paper to trace over your original piece in case you damage it while inking it.

    Shading / Backgrounds => Nice beginner's attempt at it, try to improve on it for a more professional look. More references and practice, and you will get better. ^.^"

    Poses => Like what kratsee said, get someone to pose for you or search for reference pictures. You could also use guiding lines to form the base of the pose before drawing on it.

    Story - Related ...

    Research => Doing a good martial art epic ( or even any story ), is to do background research. It would make fight sequences and techniques more realistic and feasible for the characters.

    Extra tips : There is a girl in your comic that does a unique blend of Taiqi swordplay and ninja techniques. Taiqi ( or Tai chi ) is known to be a soft martial art that uses circular motion to parry/ shift away the force of an incoming blow and counter with the force gain from the flowing movement ( imagine something like Aikido. ) while Ninjitsu is known to use a method call Tai Sabaki to evade blows by shifting the body out of the path of movement.
    Getting her to use straight forward blows like in Karate or Kendo would make her look a bit weird. You could get a friend to try out the movements with you to make the character's fighting technique to seem more natural ... ^.^"
    ( Since it would be weird to see a defensive character to be incredibly aggressive or a soft technique practitioner to whack an opponent with hard strikes. )

    Tying down the plot : Try to visualise how the story flows, to prevent it from becoming to messy or out of point. Plot holes usually occur when authors written something without remembering what they mentioned earlier. ( Eg, Dragons are afraid of water ... but strangely, a dragon appears in front of our protagonist from a lake ... filled with water. ) Try to think of how to end is as well, since most stories tend to start off well but end abruptly with many questions unanswered.

    Tips again => Try to use the basic 3 acts.
    Act 1 : Call to Journey ( The hero/protagonist beginning his quest. )
    Act 2 : Development of main characters as he strives for goal, learns from mentors and defeat threshold guardians.
    Act 3 : To the Climate and Epilogue ( aka final boss/antagonist battle and what happens after that ... all main questions finally answered. )

    Creating Character Depth / Emotion => Putting in backstory and motivation for each of the characters, affecting the way they behave and the way they fight. Some character, like Leon for instance, can have a good backstory to explain why is he motivated to be merciless and 'evil'. ( Most villians in stories were once normal or even 'good' people until a dramatic event turned them into their current selves. ) Emotion is also important since people in real life don't really live with only one mood or react to a situation in a single way.

    Extra tips : Make a list for each character and write down a few facts about them including:
    What happened to them in the past ? ( where were they both and how they lived etc ... )
    How did the characters get their present characteristics ?
    What motivates them to fight ?
    How do they normally speak or act ?
    Who trained them in their skills ?
    Who are they related to ?
    What other quirks or unique traits do they have ? ( aka what do they do when they are free ? Not all wanderers spent all their time just wandering around without eating or sleeping. )

    Character Arcs : Sub-plots outside the main story, mainly dealing with character goals and motivations, as well as the development of relationship between each other.

    Anyway, here is the end of my long list of points ... I hope you find them useful ...
    Well dude, it was far more than useful. I'm quite surprised by how much people can help if they feel like it! I mean, if my comic's given this attention and I'm given all these tips, it means the people care right? So basically I'm gonna take every of the advices given previously very seriously (I do take many of them seriously already) and write something really goof!! Thanks a lot for your advices!!! Everyone!!

  6. #16
    Over is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Keep practicing. I have a friend that started drawing at high school. At first, he really sucked. But he drawed at least 2 pages every day, 7 days a week. He also went to college and followed the Art branch and I must say that he now draws very well. The point is, even gifted people have to work hard to acheive a good quality level. Read and inform them selves not only about the drawing subject, but in general culture too (my friend studied anatomy, to draw people correctly), so that you become a better storyteller, learn new techniques, etc.

    Keep up the good work.

  7. #17
    Minow the Great is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ecuador, South America
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Over View Post
    Keep practicing. I have a friend that started drawing at high school. At first, he really sucked. But he drawed at least 2 pages every day, 7 days a week. He also went to college and followed the Art branch and I must say that he now draws very well. The point is, even gifted people have to work hard to acheive a good quality level. Read and inform them selves not only about the drawing subject, but in general culture too (my friend studied anatomy, to draw people correctly), so that you become a better storyteller, learn new techniques, etc.

    Keep up the good work.
    Thanks ever so much for the good feedback!! Gee I feel inspired now. gotta upload. And yea, practise makes freaking perfect, or the closest to it

  8. #18
    sasuke_srg is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    12

    Default

    The link doesn't seem to work for me...so...I can't see anything....

    The Time Will Come When A Goddess Will Save Us All....

 

 
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
vBulletin Skin by: ForumThemes.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162