Claymore RPG Character check-up/approval thread

[Phantom Miria]

Yeah we have a guy like that but he's a yoma out of a laboratory who has a human mind and a yoma mind in one body. So far the only mental disorder we seem to acknowledge in Claymore Organization is slightly crazy sadistic personality like Ophelia, Childlike state we see in Miata and Priscilla.

If you're determined with the two people living in one body idea, I'm afraid its not possible since the Organization wants Claymores with a stable mind as their soldier, unless she was wickedly strong like Miata. But since everyone will start out as novice we won't tolerate omega power from the start. Revise the profile and come back with something solid.

Always reason with yourself is this possible thinking from Claymore universe and Organization's point of view. If you were Rimuto would you pass Catherine to become a Claymore or leave her as trainee or worse? They've proven themselves to be exceptionally cold and harbour no good will towards their warriors, to them as long as they are stable in the mind and if they can kill properly thats all they need.

Just read your post again. Broken Soul Link? I hope you're aware Soul Link came long after Riful left the organization. In our current time Riful hasn't even been given a rank let alone no1 even knows if she exists yet.

[Elcura]

First off, no crazy font colours. Secondly, your character needs to be more...tragic I guess. You have the potential device (split persona) but you're using it wrong. The other side could be the traumatized side that's more like Ophelia, that often recounts tails of "her" death (when really it's the original side remembering) and is pretty sadistic. The internal struggle would make for something interesting I guess, just don't have to two sides conversing casually.

Being 1/4 1/4 seems redundant, it's basically 1 person with a split personality. Your skill is basically healing through alignment. But you have to think how that would work and what would be the downside to it. Right now it sounds a lot like a clean/perfect version of my characters reverse drain, which essentially works a lot like your skill does (even if I were to go scientific the theory is still pretty much the same). You also haven't decided a type yet, which is weird because you listed such a defensive skill/character.

[Nodoka]

If you're determined with the two people living in one body idea, I'm afraid its not possible since the Organization wants Claymores with a stable mind as their soldier, unless she was wickedly strong like Miata. But since everyone will start out as novice we won't tolerate omega power from the start. Revise the profile and come back with something solid.

i already told you i do no want to overpower a character. For 2 minds, is just a precatuation that i want to make, for myself not to awaken that easily.
i'm going to stay true a defensive player instead of all the other who state defensive and have offensive skill. like you compare for most MMORPG a knight with a crusader, i want to take the tanking instead of being a power pack *maybe until later stage*

Always reason with yourself is this possible thinking from Claymore universe and Organization's point of view. If you were Rimuto would you pass Catherine to become a Claymore or leave her as trainee or worse? They've proven themselves to be exceptionally cold and harbour no good will towards their warriors, to them as long as they are stable in the mind and if they can kill properly thats all they need.

do read it properly, i do not want to break it down so simply just as to say she is negative to everything all around her.
okie i'll start explaining from the personailty.
since she is lone solomn shy cold... she doesnt make friends, but she do help people if they ask.
then i write in the post that catharina only appear (i'll tak it up to 30%) this is the personailty that is more open outgoing free... which means she is the one more likely to make friends instead of catherine.
but since she only appear after catherine pass 30% which means your unlikely to see her, only in battle or aftermath where she heal others.
berfore passing 30% catharina can only be contact by catherine and no others.

and i want you to think properly at the dislike part... or even i dont put the dislike of youma, its a common nature that do you ever think that claymore will trust a youma so easily. let alone for you to say a youma going up to her and her he is a good youma, or even beg for mercy. THINK.

So the weakness wont ever be a opening to the youma or awaken.
taking the fact she have little friend
which means it only open to her fellow claymores... its added to have plot twist incase anyone wants to betray her... that's a IF
like a fellow claymore sending her a black card to trick her... she will fell for it but it doesnt mean she will died... i told you about the healing and defensive...

Just read your post again. Broken Soul Link? I hope you're aware Soul Link came long after Riful left the organization. In our current time Riful hasn't even been given a rank let alone no1 even knows if she exists yet.

read properly at what i answer... it just a simple telepathy between twins. i already said that it not even a soul link, its just something common all twins...
for riful case is not even twins.
then later part i will state that she have a dualistic nature, so it doesnt even mean soul linking up.

if you still need any more explaination i'm welcome to give it

[Nodoka]

haiz now i have to make a new explaination to EL... pls wait

Secondly, your character needs to be more...tragic I guess. You have the potential device (split persona) but you're using it wrong. The other side could be the traumatized side that's more like Ophelia, that often recounts tails of "her" death (when really it's the original side remembering) and is pretty sadistic. The internal struggle would make for something interesting I guess, just don't have to two sides conversing casually.

sure if you wanted it to be more sadistic. i'll fine tune catherine to be traumatised, but the fact is i want to oeverrun to something bloodthrist like Ophelia( although she does have a good side )
cause i want to retain her orginal true nature and not have her a twisted that much.

Being 1/4 1/4 seems redundant, it's basically 1 person with a split personality. Your skill is basically healing through alignment. But you have to think how that would work and what would be the downside to it. Right now it sounds a lot like a clean/perfect version of my characters reverse drain, which essentially works a lot like your skill does (even if I were to go scientific the theory is still pretty much the same). You also haven't decided a type yet, which is weird because you listed such a defensive skill/character.

Drain: Through close contact with the target Yoma, Kaiserin can drain the opponents stamina and uses it to increase her own stamina. Opponents feel tired and their endurance goes down greatly. Drain can also be used in reverse, giving an ally some of Kaiserin's stamina, or by using Kaiserin as a catalyst, transfer stamina from one Claymore to another.

since you all didnt state any downside to your character i remove that portion, or rather little of it. beacause a greater heal would need to realease their yoki, which mean she would easier past 30% and therefore awaken catharina..
okie up to this think i haven fully settle what skill i want to have.

i dont think its similar, stamina and healing is not directly connected, stamina would mean the ability to last longer, while healing only regards to wounds.

i have already said this is a mock up, so stay tune^^

[Nodoka]

any more comments?

popping by to ask, although my work still haven finish.

[Kolox]

Yeah we have a guy like that but he's a yoma out of a laboratory who has a human mind and a yoma mind in one body.

Your talking about me ?? - I never knew I was out from laboratory - what a huge spoiler

[Nodoka]

O.o spoiler for scene 2 wa, exciting.

but nothing seems wrong about a guy with youma body? isnt all youma the same... they eat the brain get the memory?

[Kolox]

^By the way - don't double post if its not neccesary - you can get banned for that, use 'edit' button.

I made a simple character - doesn't know about his past, didn't care much.
And I need to agree - pink is a nice colour but it doesn't help reading, change it in your character sheet if it's possible - I barely made into the part with history ;p

[Kaiserkreuz]

Revised since I'm feeling that I'm the one being disapproved in page 2.

.:Name:.
Alerian Kaiserkreuz

.:Gender:.
Male

.:Rank:.
To be determined by the GM

.:Race:.
Claymore

.:Type:.
Offensive

.:Alignment:.
True Neutral

.: Likes :.
Training to refine combat techniques ("An efficient method to slay yoma.") and skill, Resting in tranquil places ("When I can put down my sword and relax to enjoy the beautiful scenery."), and Reading Books. "A tolerant person who can accept all of me unconditionally."

.: Dislikes :.
Yoma, Indecisiveness, Alcohol and Vulgar Persons and Pitch-black darkness

.:Personality:.
Other think that Alerian is a snob or a person you can’t get along with because he’s serious, silent, reserved and emits a don’t bother me presence but in reality he’s a nice, kind person, and always analyze things first before action. Path he follows "Once I stain my hands with blood, I fight till the end..."

.:Appearance:.
Eye Color: Purple(When still human), Hair Color: Lightblond to Silverywhite(When still human), Height 5’ 11”, Slender Built than average person, Weight 135 pounds, Possess innate beauty and easy gracefulness, viewed as both wondrous and haughty by other, Has a long Hair that is waist level and tied in the neck area and waist area and the left bangs cover the left face and tied in the chest area.

.:Insignia:.


.:Special Skill:.
Discern Yoki: enables you to perceive opponent/opponents yoki and analyze them allowing you to learn if they are defensive or offensive type, you also can see the locations of opponent/opponents susceptible parts and can attack it with dire precision dealing critical or deadly damage to your opponent and gauging opponent/opponents strength to know the missions success rate.

Quote: “If you know both yourself and your enemy, you will come out of one hundred battles with one hundred victories.”

Alerian: Since male claymores are more susceptible in awakening, Then I must not misuse my yoki and attack my opponent with wit.

Swallow Slash (Refraction Phenomenon): Not effective in dark areas. An attack causes a Refraction Phenomenon, which consists of three swift simultaneous strikes from different directions. Looks like three slices because of the suns/lights reflection + his speed, but really its 1 high powered slash that has some feign in it.

.:History:.
Family Kaiserkreuz was a noble house which boasts it’s skill in swordsmanship and archery that they are employed by other noble houses form other towns as personal bodyguards and generals as for Alerian being born in this family his childhood is like not like that of any normal child at a young age of 8 children of Kaiserkreuz are trained in reading and writing, etiquette and decorum, and in swordsmanship and archery. His father personally trains him in swordsmanship while his mother personally trains him in archery. He was born naturally good in combat skill. When hr was nine a pack of yoma entered the town they control that is causing chaos and turmoil in their fiefdom that they need to hire a claymore no matter what the price is, some of the citizens left the town for their safety. One night the yomas managed to enter Kaiserkreuz estate killing some of the on duty guards and sounding the alarm. His parents knowing what is the meaning of the alarm rushes to hide Alerian for safety in the secret treasury room hidden under the estates library. Some of the guards run away in panic and fear while others fought. His parent’s and family members leading the guards in the fight against the monsters died also that night. Two day later the claymore they hired came the town which is empty of life because most of the citizen had fled for safety and others have been killed by the yoma. The claymore hunted down and eliminated the yomas. The black robe man of the organization came to collect the fee since no one is available to pay went to the estate and searched it for it treasury and found the boy in the treasury room when Alerian searched for his parents and family member but only to find out that they are all dead and that he is the only remaining survivor of his lineage. The man in black robes took the boy in the organization to be trained as one of their tools known as claymores and also took family Kaiserkreuz riches.

.:Misc:.
Alerian always carry two secondary weapon which he uses instead of his claymore a Schweizersäbel and a custom made Composite Longbow that only Claymores can use. Kills yoma quick and painless as possible and when he detects one that is near his area kills it first no questions ask. He only uses his claymore when needed

[Nodoka]

yea i noe abt the pinky. i was a style sheet i maked for a dark forum skin