Thread: just in case you want to be more of an ass than ever

Ice Cream Protector
Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Euphori-Lock
$5.50

Some people have no shame. They will wait until you have left the kitchen, and they will steal your ice cream. These selfish gluttons will gorge themselves on your sweet, delicious Cherry Garcia and leave you to discover nothing but an empty container the next time you have a craving. But you can put an end to this sort of heinous larceny. Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream company has developed a special combination lock that fits around the top of a pint of ice cream to keep other people's greedy spoons out of what is rightfully yours.

wow!
some people has time to loose

I just really like the name. its powerful.
Euphori-Lock.

I wish they had called it like...
The Iron Fist of Justice. or something else cool.

But the container is cardboard. Why not just cut off the top, eat it all, then put it at your dogs feet and let him get the blame? I mean, you do feed him and pet him and borrow his fleas from time to time, so isn't a good beating every now and then a good trade-off?

I was going to post a witty comment. Something like "Ice Cream is Frozen Fish FAT!!!!!" But then I heard scraping sounds in my kitchen. Someone was stealing my Ice Cream! So I shotgunned the bastard. Then the Secret Service came in, stared at my gun, and mumbled "Wait, that's not the VP. Where did the Son of a Bitch go?" Then they ran off.
PS Aikido: The Iron Fist of Justice is a Namibian Condom Brand.

EDIT: Jakko: have you ever TRIED to even get angry at a Siberian Husky staring at you with puppy eyes??

Originally Posted by Jakko1234

But the container is cardboard. Why not just cut off the top, eat it all, then put it at your dogs feet and let him get the blame? I mean, you do feed him and pet him and borrow his fleas from time to time, so isn't a good beating every now and then a good trade-off?

the theory being that if its named "The Iron Fist of Justice," no one would dare to go through with that dastardly plan.