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  1. #1
    Get Jew is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    Default Shut Up! You're Not Suiseiseki!

    Apparently, this was from 4chan, but I somehow missed it. :/


    "Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred.
    "No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box."
    "But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!"
    "Not tonight. You'll do as you're told."
    "Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?"
    "What?!"
    "Is master-sama's penis too small for real girls?"
    "Why aren't you saying desu?"
    "Does he have to use dolls instead?"
    "SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!"
    "Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once."
    "DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!"
    "It was too small even for dolls."
    "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"
    With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad? The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go. Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.
    Enjoy all new half assed effort power coupled with insane clutter.

  2. #2
    LotusBoyRock is offline Senior Member Regular
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    Default

    what the fuck ARE you???

  3. #3
    Aikido is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    thats fucking disgusting. I never go to 4chan. Place is FUCKED up. Reminds me of a passage in Native Son, though. Very acclaimed book. Wet cotton, anyone?

  4. #4
    Digital_Eon's Avatar
    Digital_Eon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Default

    Damn, I'd hate to be Suiseiseki. Being smashed to bits and forced to sleep in a box sounds painful.
    ~Digital_Eon~




  5. #5
    Saizou is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Default

    I must say I'm impressed. 4chan seems to be just as fucked up as always.

    Anyway, this is some genuinely funny shit. Get Jew, help yourself to a cookie.

  6. #6
    AShlyed is offline Senior Member Well Known
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    Default

    Is this from a japanese mad/crazy movies?
    If i was not mistake, the ending shows an event where 2 girls were twisted into one.. which make them appear like a spider..
    Dammit Jew, why do you remind me this??
    En Taro Adun !!
    -- Yes, I speak Engrish
    Torncity

  7. #7
    Get Jew is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    Default

    Eh? No, this is from Rozen Maiden. It's a joke about a man and his obsession, because for fuck's sake, Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.
    Enjoy all new half assed effort power coupled with insane clutter.

  8. #8
    bamboozler is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Default

    fuck im drunk.....and sex with dolls is the shit

    "Grapes and grapes!"

  9. #9
    Cold-NiTe's Avatar
    Cold-NiTe is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    The pure insanity of that, it's incredible. The punchline did get a laugh out of me. Sure it's messed up, especially if you have no idea what Rozen maiden is, it's even more screwed up, but damn, what a concept. Poor hikikomori losing his mind...
    Dear cousin choppitychop89, you were a good relative, though I hardly knew ye.

 

 

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