How About Giving Them A Bath While Using HydroChloric Acid As Soap And Shampoo
How About Giving Them A Bath While Using HydroChloric Acid As Soap And Shampoo
Ur Sis From Hell ... SooSeH
Impractical, the best way to kill someone is using a knife, wear gloves and dispose of the knife afterwards, in a river. Then, chop the victim up into little pieces,
scrape their fingerprints away, crush their cheekbones and take out all of their teeth and crush those too. If you are able to, go to the basement and burn tthe body pieces, and make sure the hair is really gone.
THen stuff all that in a garbage bag and and put it into a big knapsack or something. Then go to the dump yourself or a garbage disposal of an apartment building (they have garbage chutes) and throw them there. If you can get to the dump, make sure to hide the body well...
Oh yeah, always wear gloves and dispose of the gloves later (throw them into a river) and make sure that you do this all before the body starts rotting since the smell is almost impossible to get rid of.
KILLING IS BAD!
its much better to keep people alive through a lifetime of torture
"Grapes and grapes!"
This topic help me prepare for nasty surgery work in the future.
Although most of these ideas are really nerdy (Ishman's particle physics and cosmic explosions), really stupid (a lot of people), or corny (Michael Jackson).
Wish me luck in becoming a mad scientist!
First of all, knives and gloves floating down a river is very suspicious.Originally Posted by burningman
Second, rivers are not always available.
Third, use corrosive chemicals to destroy the gloves, and knives.
Fourth, you should keep the knife for carving your victim (unless you plan to carve with your bare hands)
Actually, I respect quantum mechanics and relativity.
But I don't really get to see the blood in massive explosions. High intensity radiation does fine though, although kinda expensive-sounding.
I'm with Madi-chan and Akido on this one. You guys need to go out and hang out with some real friends or something... sitting in front of that box is fucking you up beyond repair...
I remember there being guys like you lot at school. Wonder what happened to them? ... Probably not much.
I was this fucked up long before i knew what a computer or t.v was.
you could have a mother watch her children shreded up slowly, lock her in a cell for a few days withought food, then give her children back in the form of a slab of meat and watch wether she'd starve or eat her children to survive.
hum... or maybe you can remove someones face and let them bleed to death.
and theres injecting air directly into someones bloodflow.
Originally Posted by Digital_Eon
...Tell someone you are familiar with that you want them to come over to your house in the evening. Lurk in the bushes and wait until you see them approaching. Then, when they get to your door, pop out and stab them in the back of the head. "April Fools!".
Slice a hole the size of a dime in the back of a person's neck. Then, poor honey into said hole and create a row of ants that leads directly into said person's neck. Seal the hole with rubber cement, preferably using the original sawed out hole. It should take about two to three weeks for the ants to turn said person into a living ant colony.
Invite a group of people over for a delicious clam bake. Once the guests have all arrived, and are all seated, pass around the clams, telling everyone to take three (Bake 24 total). Then, after everyone has eaten one clam (Keep an eye out for this moment) stand up and make an announcement: "I have placed plastic explosives inside all but one of the clams. The remaining clam contains ________ (Insert made up cure for consumption of plastic explosives XD). However, it will only take about 5 minutes for your entire systems to rupture and your bodies to burst". Keep in mind, there are no plastic explosives. Now, lock these people in a room, and watch as they struggle to gorge themselves on clams. Afterwards, tell them that they all have Salmonella, because you forgot to cook the clams in the first place.
Position someone under a three-story building, wherein it is very easy to drop heavy objects onto said person. Tie said person down, and make sure he or she cannot struggle/wiggle. Then, tell the person that you are going to drop 5 objects onto their head; each one proggresively heavier than the last. Tell them that if they survive, you will let them go. First you drop a billiard ball onto their head, and most likely, they either scream out in pain, or start crying. Next, drop a candle onto their head, preferably with the candleabra still inside. If they survive, they will probably be too numb to realize what the hell is going on. Next, drop a relatively large clock onto them, hopefully denting their heads and deforming what's left of their life. Next, drop a trumpet onto their heads. If they DO survive, they will be very pleased right now. Finally, drop a bowling ball onto their heads. Physically, it is GUARANTEED that their heads will
a). Be soft enough to squish like an orange, and
b). Pop like an unsightly zit.
If they do survive, act all surprised, and "accidentaly" pitch a sink onto them. Nobody survives the three-story wrath of a sink.
Tie someone down in your back yard, and grab a magnifying glass. Make sure it is around noon, and the sun is out. Then, using the magnifying glass, burn small holes into the person, and jam any manner of food into these holes. Also, burn a large circular pattern into the person's stomache, which is to be sawed away. Now, keep in mind: You do not want to cut into the actual stomache; just the outer skin. Once the skin is removed, you must carefully jam raw meat into said person's gaping flesh wound. Now drive on down to the zoo, and dress the freak in a "Mascot" costume, i.e. a costume depicting some sort of animal as a sports fanatic. This is the only way that you will be able to get into the zoo with a person in this condition. Now, waltz over to the Lion's cage, whilst draggin your bemangled pal at your heels, and gently tip him or her into the habitat.
*Note-For best results, dress your friend in as realistic of a lion costume as possible, and film the ensuing chaos under the title "Cannibalistic animals.
Once the lions have had their fun with your friend, it is best to turn yourself in, or else the poor animals may be sentenced to death.
Footnote: Yes, animals can be tried for murder. in 1918, in a small Arkansas town, during the "carnival" season, an elephant accidentally stepped on a man. The townsfolk were so outraged that they sentenced the poor animal to death. Unfortunately, the rifles and muskets they had on hand were not sufficient to kill a 2,000 pound animal, so they had to figure out another way to kill it. Drowning it was not an option, because it would be a nightmare to drag the beast back out of the water. Pushing a 2,000 pound ANYTHING off a cliff is never smart either. What did that leave? The Town residents found the biggest crane they could, bought over 600 meters of rope, and hung an elephant, proving that humans really are the dumbest species on the planet.
Slice off a person's hand, and then, one by one, tear out all of the little veins with a pair of pliers. Next, slice off the other hand, repeating the previous steps, and also repeat for both of the person's feet. Once all of his or her limbs are hollowed out, shove cow shit into them and light the person on fire. May not be the most painful way to go, but it sure is the smelliest. Oh, and in case you did not know, shit fuses with anything it is burned too, so the person's family would have a helluva time at the funeral.
Lastly, tell a friend you want to go skydiving with them. Then, when you are at 10,000 feet and it is time to jump, shove them out the door,, but make sure they have their "parachute". Stay in the plane, in case they get all "clingy", and watch, as your friend pulls the string, only to find a swarm of killer bees come flying out.