Thread: Quotes

figgered id start it again since it was rendered into a pile of subatomic particles by the nuke...

found some funny ones

How can i read porn by candlelight!!! What do i look like, Abe Lincoln???
-Krusty The Clown


Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
-Unknown

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
Rodney Dangerfield

I've got a good one for health freaks. "A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

This was a poster that my physics teacher put on his wall:
Rule #1: I am always right.
Rule #2: In the unlikely event that I am wrong, rule 1 applies.

"Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views." -FF8

These three were from the last thread. Im not sure who said them, or id put it in.
Confidence: the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

-Politicians and diapers both need to be changed often and for the same reason

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Another Gunnery Sergeant Hartman quote:

Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.

Smells like salmon, keep on jammin'.
Smells like trout, get the Fack out.

ROFL

It's accually:

If it smells like fish, it's a dish.
If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.

"Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite
All of which are american dreams" -RATM

This mean even more today than it did in '92.

You lost me at carrots, which was the first draft of 'you had me at hello'.

kill one and its a murder
kill ten thousand and its a statistic
(this ones not accurate but its close, its from Red Alert)