Thread: Friends

What do you mean by rekindle friendship? Seems to me (just from my interpretation of your post) that you can't or don't want to trust him about that kind of situation again.

Eh, as a female I would try to talk to a person like Steve and say honestly that trust has been broken and ask if it is worth attempting to repair.

Good luck with your decision Steal.

Hmmm. Bit of a read.

So you've been friends with this guy Steve for a long time, huh? Well, there are good friends and bad friends. I've got friends that I've known for so long that it's just not worth stopping being friends with them, even when they're assholes.

I guess it comes down to two things - what you're really pissed off with Steve about, and if it is worth getting past. The guy lied to you (through omission if nothing else), and also screwed your ex-girlfriend after you asked him not to. That about sums it up? How much do you value the friendship and does that outweigh the shit-storm he brewed?

There is only one major stumbling block that I see here. You seem not to have much respect for this Steve character. You don't approve of his constantly groping random girls, his lying, his breaking your trust. You describe him as kinda pathetic after you decked him. I don't see how you can be friends with someone who you have zero respect for.

Originally Posted by StealDragon

Sorry for the wait. Anyway the story is this. Since I was in highschool I had a close best friend, lets call him Steve. In 2009 I started dating this girl who we'll call Chris. All the while Chris and I were together, Steve spent every second hitting on Chris. This pissed her off and pissed me off so I told him point blank to cut that shit out. He obliged. When Chris and I broke....[snip]

You obviously care about this friendship (otherwise it wouldn't be an issue in the first place). It seems that booze and libido got the better of both your friends, but ultimately they are consenting adults and any relationship between them is their perogative; unfortunately "steve" chose that perogative over your trust and then made it worse by trying to hide it from you (IMO loyalty and respect means being honest and open with your friends even if it means going against their wishes).

Whether you can come to trust him again is something time will decide (indeed you may never be able to place the same level of trust in him as you used to).
You've already given him a (rightly deserved) decking and I take it you've already made your stance clear to him and others, so the question you have to ask yourself now is: are you willing to call it even and accept his appology?

Fuck Steve. He knew how you felt and didn't care for it a single bit. He could just as well do it again. Apologies are just fanciful words.

You might be able to be friends again sometime but you seem to be too mad at the moment.
If you can't trust someone, then you can't really be friends. If you accept his apology, are you doing it because you can and do forgive him or is it because you have grown up together?
Giving the pretence of friendship is worse than outright fighting.

I'm not sure if I have friends. :<

okayyyyy,
1. that was really long :O
2. I'm skipping replies as a result.
3. Here's my opinion. -> I have sadly gone through a couple of very similar and complicated issues with more than one 'friend' The best solution imho is give him a chance. When You're Ready. Don't forget, but forgive and hope and allow him to gain back your trust and make you forget via his actions. Best course imo.

Id actually kinda like to hear anyones similar story... If you want that is.

Not really the same, but I used to work with a girl I kinda liked but never had the guts to ask out.

Problem was she liked another guy I used to work with (to be clear, he was the chef (he was actually married, although I think it was a sham marriage to flaut immigration laws), I was the kitchen porter and she was a waitress). She was infatuated buy this guy who was twice her age but all he wanted was the opportunity to fuck her (she was 16 and smokin' hot).

The thing is he knew she liked him and was able to string her along with sweet talk to the point where he was able to pass her around with his friends. The worst part was that she just couldn't see it when everyone else could, and when he moved jobs she folowed him.

I never actually did anything about it (there was no way I could've won a fight against him), but I really hated him.

I have no idea what has happened to them since, other than the guy still works at the job he moved to.

Wait how the hell ... did he ever do anything with her? And what do you mean "pass around to his friends"? O_o