Yes, I have a lot of people I hang out with, party with, and call friends. On one hand I can count my
'true friends' and they are the ones I know will be there for me always, and I for them.
One true friend to talk to about the tough things, the broken hearts, etc..is better than any shrink.
no rule all are my friend
I might say the words "friend" & "acquaintance" are not clearly define in my vocabulary.
I got friends who share the same interest with me but we only rarely share each other; I also call my workmates friends since we're in friendly term with each other; Not to mention the friends that I chat online (without meeting face-to-face). To me, anyone can be considered "friend" as long as they want to be my friend.
I detest irresponsible people the most.
I have a fair few people would I would consider friends...but saying that I'm probably only real close to three or four people.
Then could you "lend" me a few thousand dolars? I promise to pay you back when I get rich.
Originally Posted by paulkk
I have 2 close friends that I can talk about anything with, and the rest are just casual friends.
Sorry for the wait. Anyway the story is this. Since I was in highschool I had a close best friend, lets call him Steve. In 2009 I started dating this girl who we'll call Chris. All the while Chris and I were together, Steve spent every second hitting on Chris. This pissed her off and pissed me off so I told him point blank to cut that shit out. He obliged. When Chris and I broke up I told Steve not to try to fuck her, that we were over and I never wanted to see her again, and he said she was dead to us and patted me on my back and gave me alcohol to soothe my pain.
Originally Posted by Stuyvesant
Time goes on I introduce Steve to a bunch of my female friends and he relentlessly comes on to each and every one of them, single or not.
Fast forward to March 2010 - I've basically ignored Chris's existence for almost a year and my friends have called me an asshole for doing it saying I'm a great friend and I should get past our fallout and be friends with her because she really needs someone like me (lol). I say ok, and lo and behold I meet her at a party in a bar, unfortunately shes leaving but I say we should catch up, she agrees, and we say we'll meet soon. Steve is also at this bar. He is drunk as shit and all over my other friend, we'll call her Michelle. Michelle is getting annoyed and asks me to dance with her out on the dancefloor away from Steve's roaming hands. I agree and 20 min of intense dancing later I tell her I want to go back because I'm feeling awkward about cockblocking my best friend. He's now shitfaced and angry saying I'm dead to him for doing that and I wouldnt know anyone without him and all that bullshit. I realize he's drunk and don't take it personally but stroke his ego by agreeing with him as I usher him into a cab and continue my night.
The next day Chris invites me over to her place for some beers and asks me to tell Steve to come when he gets off work at 7. Now one thing I knew was Chris hated Steve and I'm curious as to why she knows his work schedule, but determined not to jump to conclusions I think nothing of it and tell Steve she wants us to come over. She bet me that he would say no, and I take the bet laughing thinking "Steve never turns down alcohol, of course he'll come!". I call Steve and he says he's tired and would rather go home at 7 then come to Queens and drink. I lose $5.
At Chris's house we're getting tipsy and I bring up the incident with Michelle the night before and she is visibly hurt. Curious as to her reaction I inquire why and she asks me if I know. I say "if I know what?". She says that Steve and her have been sorta dating for a couple of weeks and the only reason she agreed to date him was because he told her I knew and was cool with it - a blasphemous lie. I quietly and subtly lose my temper. With the creepiest smile in history I swear I said no such thing and this was the first I was hearing of it. She picks up on my anger and says its been nothing serious, just some drinks in bars and the occasional kiss when it gets a little heavy. Minor stuff. I say it doesnt matter to me but the damage is done. I say I have two choices, I can agree that they are two consenting adults and can do whatever they want regardless of my feelings, or I can punch Steve in the face as soon as I see him for 1. Lying to Chris about my permission; 2. Hitting on other girls and feeling them up when he was in the beginning stages of a relationship with my ex; 3. Lying to me by omission about seeing her; 4. Being a hypocrite by denouncing me for cockblocking him when in actuality he was cheating; 5. not having the balls to face me in front of her; and finally 6. and most importantly blatantly disregarding my request for him to not try to fuck her. She vehemently argues I beat him senseless and swears its over between the two of them. I laugh and fall asleep drunk on her couch. I wake up the next morning to unrivaled rage and anger, I feel betrayed by my best friend and take it out on a street sign which saw fit to grace me with a permanent scar on my fist for my outburst.
Time drags on, I have cut off all contact with Steve and he has not even once attempted to contact me after that night at Chris's, I assume he knows I now know of his secret relationship and is avoiding me. I bring i t up to our mutual friends and they are shocked by my ignorance, saying they knew from before Chris and I broke up a year ago that he was trying to fuck her and I retort by saying I assumed that as my friend if I asked him specifically not to fuck her that he would respect that, I mean we only live in New York City, a city that has 200,000 more single women than men, its not like shes the last girl on Earth. They succumb to my logic and pray I don't get arrested for murder.
I meet up with Chris again for drinks at her place a few weeks ago. Boredom + Blue Moon = Truth or Dare. Truth... "When was your last one night stand?" "Three or four weeks ago." "Anyone I know?" "Steve..." My rage increases exponentially. "It was pathetic, I was so unsatisfied" My rage decreases slightly. I realize my anger may just be jealousy instead of righteousness. I juggle the question of whether or not I care and I realize I don't. I end up having sex with her less than an hour later - I dont love her, I like having sex, I always wanted to fuck her, friends with benefits is fine with me I say to myself.
Soon thereafter I accidentally run into Steve at a bar with some coworkers, an awkward hello ensues and we ignore each other the entire night. On the walk home, my anger takes hold and I accost him "So don't you have anything to say to me" He repeatedly denies knowing anything about what im talking about, I continue berating him. He accidentally drops Chris's name, I jump at his mistake and ask him if he has anything he'd like to apologize for. He starts giving excuses "Don't you have a girlfriend? So you still love her? I'm a grown man I can do what I want" et cetera et cetera. I lose my patience upside his head. Our mutual friend whom we'll call X, who was walking with us at the time, stops me before I beat him to the pavement. Now he remembers what he should be apologizing for. He begs for forgiveness and I scowl at his worthless form cowering beneath my clenched fists and remember he's never been in a fight in his entire life and I just clocked him twice in the jaw. He repulses me completely as he swears he's sorry and he just put his penis first instead of his friends, I'm his true friend and he'll never hurt me like that again, and he loves and misses me. I am disappointed, he never even threw a punch. I leave in the middle of his apology and kick over a garbage can and put my fist into a telephone booth in disgust.
I tell Chris about what happens, shes shocked I actually went through with it and purpotrated physical violence against a close friend in the name of my understanding of the rules of friendship. She asks what he said about her and I tell her point blank "He said he put his penis first", she is visibly sick and abrupty quits the conversation to do what I can only assume is either vomiting or crying or some mixture of both. Later she confirms she'd never been decieved and hurt like that before in her life and was physically sick that she fell victim to the game he played on her and ended up chugging a beer or two and sleeping on it... Steve called her soon after and broke it off saying he "loved me too much". I remain skeptical of her ability to see through his bullshit and I laugh and retort "He loves you too much to fuck you, yeah I totally buy that, Maybe Santa will come and give him a nice sack of toys for his honesty", she is amused by my supposition. End of story.
Now the question is this. Should I go back to being friends with him? Since the fight (or lack thereof) he as repeatedly apolgized to me and has tried to talk to me but I have ignored him. My revenge, although unsatisfying, is complete. On one hand - I don't forgive people and I feel he would do the same thing to me again if the opportunity presented itself. I don't want to make the same mistake twice but on the other hand - for the better part of nine years he was my best friend and with good reason, he did things for me I never considered a friend would do (For example, ironically he set me and Chris up in the first place and unbeknownst to me had lobbied hard on my behalf that she give me a chance). Aside from his wandering dick he's a really stand up guy. Should I accept his apology and rekindle our friendship since now he knows how serious I am when I say something to someone I consider a friend?
PS. I know the one person I should be mad at should be Chris, because she should have known better, but in all honesty the number of times she's been lied to by Steve makes me feel shes much more of a victim than even I was.
PPS. Wow look at the length of that, didn't think it would be so long... if you tl;dr I won't hate you...
Omg, i read the whole thing.
this is actually very similar to what one of my friends went through. "the whole your best friend dates the ONE girl I specifically told you not to ever date scenario and now we hate each other and no longer best friends."
I can't relate entirely to your problem. There's only 2 ppl in my life that I used to be REALLY GOOD friends with and then some kinda stupid conflict occurs and now we absolutely despise being in the same presence of each other. But since I'm a girl, and we don't get the luxury of socially being able to fight it out in a brawl with each other, we just battle it in silence with grudges and cruel words. Those 2 specific ppl, I've never been able to make up with. We don't talk ever and when we're in a group due to having mutual friends together, we just keep our distances from each other.
There's no right or wrong thing you should do. It's more of a do you value that person enough to want to make amends? For me, I didn't really care to try and make amends because I knew my time with that person was short and bearable. I knew these 2 ppl that I absolutely loathe now I could easily avoid in a few months (graduation was coming soon so I knew they would be out of my life soon).
If you can make up and somehow go back to being friends again, you're a better person then me. It really boils down to how much you care to be with that person again. If you're writing an autobiography about this situation, it sounds like you do care more then you think.
That's just my 2 cents.
My irrational self would say: The hell with steve! You are better off without him regardless the nine years you have with him! He's a f*cking *ssh*le that you can live without.
I would recommend that you make peace with each other since you'll be seeing him sometimes for the rest of your life, and you don't want your feeling/emotion getting ahead of your rational self. You don't to murder him the second he's in your sight. Of course, you can't go back to how it was then and you shouldn't even try going back to "how it was" -- at least it won't hit you hard the 2nd time it (might) happen to you. Just be acquaintance but not friend. If you don't want to forgive him, you don't have to obligate. He messed up with you, he just have to live with the guilt.
That's just my opinion for you, though.
Personally, for ex-friend that crossed me, they completely gone out of my life. I just don't think about them at all; it's just a waste of my brain cells.
Everyone's my friend, save for SD. I decline his constant begging to be my friend because it's really hot and I could use some of the watermelon he has been hiding and gluttonously eating alone.