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  1. #11
    Issalroc is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex. He told me he would rather play ps3. FML
    Dohohohoho

  2. #12
    StealDragon's Avatar
    StealDragon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
    Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML
    Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML
    and finally...
    Today, I finally got the chance to hook up with the girl I really like. She was naked, and as she was taking my pants off, she looked at my penis and said, "oh, I just remembered I have to babysit my little sister today." FML
    Wow.


    I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head. I hope to make the most of these hollow bones we become.
    I raise a toast to the the souls that sang all along. I've been gathering friends to just to make some sounds,
    before the ship goes down, I've been making amends by making the rounds before the whole world ends


    [Chit Chat Specific Forum Rules] // Last Update - Friday March 13, 2009

  3. #13
    4n0nm0$ is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    This site is so perfect if you wanna write a Adam Sandler movie script xD

    Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
    I spit on my screen xD xD xD

  4. #14
    pulp_chicken is offline Senior Member Respected Member
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    Cool site, I bookmarked it. Can't believe all of this stuff really happened though^^

    Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
    WTF?

    Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
    OMG, I did something like that too. Lolz.

  5. #15
    overmind is offline Senior Member Respected Member
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    Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
    Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
    Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
    Damn that sucks, lol.

    Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML
    That was a little suprising.

  6. #16
    cpr's Avatar
    cpr
    cpr is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    anyone have a FML story they wanna tell? XD

  7. #17
    LarsDeman is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
    Not my story, but I still laughed!

  8. #18
    Stuyvesant is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Quote Originally Posted by coolpuprocks View Post
    anyone have a FML story they wanna tell? XD
    I reckon the confess your mess thread has more than a few of these. Pretty cool site though.

  9. #19
    Comp_Master is offline Senior Member Regular
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    Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
    Today, this guy that I have been in love with for two years asked me into an empty classroom. He handed me a bouquet of flowers and a t-shirt that he silk screened "prom?" on to. I said it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. He asked if I thought that my best friend would like it. FML
    Lol .

  10. #20
    StealDragon's Avatar
    StealDragon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    I reckon the confess your mess thread has more than a few of these. Pretty cool site though.
    Yeah but this is so much cooler, go for it.


    I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head. I hope to make the most of these hollow bones we become.
    I raise a toast to the the souls that sang all along. I've been gathering friends to just to make some sounds,
    before the ship goes down, I've been making amends by making the rounds before the whole world ends


    [Chit Chat Specific Forum Rules] // Last Update - Friday March 13, 2009

 

 
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