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  1. #1
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Default I just don't understand women

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...


    Can anyone explain whats her problem? anyone?

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  2. #2
    Issalroc is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    Default

    ...........
    ...................__
    .............//'...'/`
    ........../'/.../..../......./\
    ........('(.......... ~/'...')
    .........\.................'...../
    ........''.\................ _.
    ............\..............(
    Here, have a bro fist mah nigga.

  3. #3
    StealDragon's Avatar
    StealDragon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Default

    Old + Lame = Fail.


    I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head. I hope to make the most of these hollow bones we become.
    I raise a toast to the the souls that sang all along. I've been gathering friends to just to make some sounds,
    before the ship goes down, I've been making amends by making the rounds before the whole world ends


    [Chit Chat Specific Forum Rules] // Last Update - Friday March 13, 2009

  4. #4
    R3dKnight is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Spurgu View Post
    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...


    Can anyone explain whats her problem? anyone?
    I see no problems here...
    strange creatures your girlfriend..

  5. #5
    mystic_guard_sinoel is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    Where's the bel air?


  6. #6
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Quote Originally Posted by StealDragon View Post
    Old + Lame = Fail.

    A blond tried once hiting on a black guy "Oh you dark embodiment of love, show me what you black guys do best!"

    The guy beat the women and stole her stereo.

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  7. #7
    Henchy432 is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    It's a lame ass old joke. Prince of Bel Air= win. This =fail

  8. #8
    StealDragon's Avatar
    StealDragon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spurgu View Post
    A blond tried once hiting on a black guy "Oh you dark embodiment of love, show me what you black guys do best!"

    The guy beat the women and stole her stereo.
    Ha ha hahahahaaa hah ... haaha... haha..... ha. ehhhh...


    I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head. I hope to make the most of these hollow bones we become.
    I raise a toast to the the souls that sang all along. I've been gathering friends to just to make some sounds,
    before the ship goes down, I've been making amends by making the rounds before the whole world ends


    [Chit Chat Specific Forum Rules] // Last Update - Friday March 13, 2009

  9. #9
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by StealDragon View Post
    Ha ha hahahahaaa hah ... haaha... haha..... ha. ehhhh...
    Uh.. eeer... hmmm...



    What 5 things are white on a black guy?

    1. Eyes
    2. The inside of the hands
    3. Nails
    4. The bottom of the feet
    5. Owner




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  10. #10
    R3dKnight is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Default

    ^ you forgot your teeth.

 

 
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