Quote Originally Posted by Dante Obscuri View Post
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
This reminded me of another one :

2 friends are out, walking in a forest. The first stops to piss, but at that moment a snake came out of the woods and bit his dick ! The poor guy falls on the floor, moaning, and asks his friend to call for help.

His friend takes his mobile phone and calls 911
- "Hello, my friend has been bitten by a snake ! We are in the middle of a forest and have no emergency box, what should we do ??"
- "Without proper tools, the only way is for you to suck his wound to take the poison out."
- "Ok, thank you."

The first guy asks :
- "So, what did he tell you ?"
- "He told me you were going to die."