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Thread: I like Monkeys

  1. #21
    ruritsu is offline Senior Member Respected Member
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    I find that to be hilarious...

  2. #22
    PacSUN is offline Member Newbie
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    It was funny, stupid funny but funny non the less.

  3. #23
    Henchy432 is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    It was ok. I smiled,but didn't do anything else.

  4. #24
    Hanul is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    I just found it weird, not really funny.

    Until one has given everything, one has given nothing.
    óGeorges Guynemer

  5. #25
    bamboozler is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    OH MY GOD! I just finished writing a story very similar to this one not five seconds ago after reading this one. O_o


    I like Lindsay Lohan.
    The corner down my street was selling her for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since she normally went for a couple rails of blow. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like Lindsay Lohan.
    I took my 200 Lindsay Lohans home. I have a big car. I let one drive. Her name was Crazy. She was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
    I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
    Two hours later I found out why all the Lindsay Lohans were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap Lindsay Lohans.
    I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead Lindsay Lohans lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
    I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet Lindsay Lohan and 199 dead, dry Lindsay Lohans.
    I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
    I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
    I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two Lindsay Lohans at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
    I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
    Then I had one dead, wet Lindsay Lohan in my toilet, two dead, frozen Lindsay Lohans in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred Lindsay Lohans in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
    I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my Lindsay Lohans and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my dead Lindsay Lohans. I felt better.
    I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
    I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
    I like Lindsay Lohan.


    Uncanny isn't it?

    "Grapes and grapes!"

  6. #26
    Urameshi-sama is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Its a tad funnier than with the monkeys. Especially the freezing part

  7. #27
    overmind is offline Senior Member Respected Member
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    I also like monkeys, especially dead ones. WTF?

 

 
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