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  1. #51
    Jakko's Avatar
    Jakko is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Ukrainians, of course. They have to be imported, though.

  2. #52
    Urameshi-sama is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Well, what kind of treatment makes them taste the best? Do you have to club them to death to make their meat tender? How would you cook them? Would you cook them till medium rare like a steak to make them taste delicious? Chemical treatments?

  3. #53
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    Jakko is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Well, as everyone knows, before killing the food, you must give it a good scare, you know, to get the juices flowing, to make the meat more tender. At the same time, you don't want to bruise the meat, so I recommend binding the Ukrainian with soft fabric ropes like silk, and making some small incisions to make it just painful enough to scare them and get the adrenaline and blood pumping.

    Then, slaughter and dress the Ukrainian(barbershop special, I find, works very well), maybe save the small intestine and liver, as they are both very scrumptuous. I like leaving the meat in a salty brine, maybe with some oregano, bay leaves, a bit of ginger, some lemon, you know, the usual.


    Cut into slices no thicker than 3/4 inch, and roast or grill, and baste generously with a sweet sauce that marries well with the salty brine taste that has soaked in throughout the skin. I prefer medium rare.

  4. #54
    Urameshi-sama is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    ^Sounds delish. I'll try it out next time I meet one. The cooking method you recommend sounds awfully similar to a popular method of cooking fish by the way (without the whole adrenaline thing ).

  5. #55
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    Jakko is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    It's a commonly made mistake to believe that Ukrainians are humans. In fact, they are mermaids(and mermen) that have grown vestigial feet. They hide the fins in there voluminous clothing.

  6. #56
    Urameshi-sama is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    ^lol Don't you mean vestigial fins? Because I've never seen a Ukrainian not use his/her feet. That also explains why they don't like to go swimming in company often.

 

 
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