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  1. #11
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Oh let me see if I still have that step by step strip of pics where this guy cuts off his penis. No worries though, he was clearly a professional as he wrapped the lower part of the shaft tightly with a piece of string. But this was from 2001 so I'll have to do some scrounging. Or not at all.

  2. #12
    Terasiel is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    I was after him, duh!

    There he was, just enjoying his dinner in peace. Then...BAM! Out of nowhere a dense cylindrical object began to assault his pants. Now he wouldn't normally be a violent man; but this little bastard was beginning to hurt him. How was he to know that it was his own nerve endings within the furry beast that was hurting him so? He did what any man probably would do. He tried to tempt it with his meal, in hopes that he could calm the beast. But alas, the food was not enough. He needed something more...soft and velour.

    Knowing the restaurant owner had a passion for whipped cream and cantaloupes, he began his quest to sate the savage beast. To his complete surprise, the horny demon took notice of the local waitresses. Now what would you do when you're being pulled like an ox behind a dump-truck towards the horrors of a sweaty lunch lady delight? He took the nearest turn he could, which was leading him back towards the kitchen.

    Dragging the abomination alongside him, for by this point, it's power was so enormous that it had grown to gargantuan proportions, he entered the kitchen. Low and behold, the beast was awoken by the sights and sounds of kneading doe. It was just too much. Like a madman, he was jerked, tossed, and even thrown towards this exticy known as bread doe.

    There was only one problem, the poor crippled young man who was kneading the doe, had gotten caught in a trashcan that had been irresponsibly placed in his way.

    He did what any great American, or British, hero would do. He took a mighty blade from the bosom of a nearby fowl and struck the behemoth behind the head. This only angered the beast.

    With newfound rage and powers exceeding even Mecha Jesus, the supernatural...no, Divine creature fought back. It was a long, and terrible battle; but our mighty epic warrior used his herculean strength to finally destroy the beast at the base of its very parasitic attachment to himself.

    Let us not reticule this man; no, let us remember him as he was. For he will surely die without his god-like immortality he had drawn from the retched Penetrating Ogre.

  3. #13
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Yeah, that was lame.

  4. #14
    Schiljo is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by StealDragon View Post
    Im not psychic Jyuu. Even if I was my head would probably explode when I sought to find out why a fucking retard would attack his own penis.

    It spit him?

  5. #15
    shautieh's Avatar
    shautieh is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    i don't know his motives, but what went through his mind was maybe something like :
    "zizzi restaurant" => zizzi... => penis (zizi = penis in french) => cut off his penis ..?

    overall, we can see that all he wanted to do was give some publicity to the "penis" restaurant
    or not...

  6. #16
    vphamv is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    ^oh, now that kind of makes sense, I mean the part about the person not being affiliated with the restaurant.
    Street Fighter > All


    http://vphamv.deviantart.com/

  7. #17
    coolerimmortal is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    That's not manly, that's just hilariously retarded.

  8. #18
    cpr's Avatar
    cpr
    cpr is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
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    Oh man, I laughed just by reading the article's title!

    Good find!

  9. #19
    ozarugold is offline Senior Member Respected Member
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    Ew.

    What could make a person do that? I mean, maybe if...nope, can't think of a reason.
    Are you happy? I am happy.

  10. #20
    Dante Obscuri is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Maybe he has problems in communicating; so, he entered the kitchen, and cut off his p0n0s, to show that he wanted some sausages.

    That, or shautieh's idea.


 

 
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