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  1. #1
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,680

    Default Man, you wouldn't believe how slutty this girl from yesterday was.

    Let me paint the scene for ya.

    So I decided to head over to a local sports bar kinda thing. Play some pool, watch some hockey, that sorta thing. I get in, play a couple games of 9 ball with some guys (get my ass kicked) and then this gal wants me to be her doubles partner. She knew me from the radio, and thought I was pretty cool.

    Anyways, we play and she's being a little flirty and whatnot, and that was fun. I played back, not like I'm getting laid or anything lately. Everytime she was getting up for a shot, she'd use the thick end of the cue to simulate you know, giving a HJ/BJ and whatnot. So I decide to just go for it. She wasn't the hottest chick I'd ever seen, but she was fun and you know, lets just see what happens. I ask her what's going on with her tomorrow night, and she says "

    Her - "A whole lotta nothing, did you wanna change that?"
    Me - "Yeah, sounds like a plan. What did you wanna do?"
    Her - "Do you wanna know the PG13 version, or the Rated R/X version?"
    Me - "The second, please"

    She comes up and whispers in my ear :

    Her - "I've heard stories about how good you are in bed. I was wanting to test and see if they were true"
    Me - "Who'd you hear these stories from? They might understate my prowess"
    Her - "Well, I heard it from a friend of Samantha's (EX), and TRUST ME, there's no way they are understated. Basically Samantha makes it sound like you're some god"
    Me - "Hmmm, yeah, I suppose that's good enough I guess"
    Her - "So *rubs my junk a bit* what do you think of that?"
    Me - "You know what I think?

    I was working in the lab late one night
    When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
    For my monster from his slab began to rise
    And suddenly to my surprise

    He did the mash
    He did the monster mash
    The monster mash
    It was a graveyard smash
    He did the mash
    It caught on in a flash
    He did the mash
    He did the monster mash

    From my laboratory in the castle east
    To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
    The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
    To get a jolt from my electrodes

    They did the mash
    They did the monster mash
    The monster mash
    It was a graveyard smash
    They did the mash
    It caught on in a flash
    They did the mash
    They did the monster mash

    The zombies were having fun
    The party had just begun
    The guests included Wolf Man
    Dracula and his son

    The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
    Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
    The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
    With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

    They played the mash
    They played the monster mash
    The monster mash
    It was a graveyard smash
    They played the mash
    It caught on in a flash
    They played the mash
    They played the monster mash

    Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
    Seems he was troubled by just one thing
    He opened the lid and shook his fist
    And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"

    It's now the mash
    It's now the monster mash
    The monster mash
    And it's a graveyard smash
    It's now the mash
    It's caught on in a flash
    It's now the mash
    It's now the monster mash

    Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
    And my monster mash is the hit of the land
    For you, the living, this mash was meant too
    When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

    Then you can mash
    Then you can monster mash
    The monster mash
    And do my graveyard smash
    Then you can mash
    You'll catch on in a flash
    Then you can mash
    Then you can monster mash

  2. #2
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    In your pants. OO BOY
    Posts
    2,023

    Default

    You disappoint me, I already thought there will be something dirty and get some rap?

    Wanna understand my siggie? Watch out for this forum troll. Click
    here

  3. #3
    Henchy432 is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Harlem
    Posts
    3,833

    Default

    Dear Penthouse...

    It was the lamest story I ever heard.

  4. #4
    StealDragon's Avatar
    StealDragon is offline Super Moderator Community Builder
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    NCC-1701
    Posts
    13,431

    Default



    =D


    i cracked a smile AK


    I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head. I hope to make the most of these hollow bones we become.
    I raise a toast to the the souls that sang all along. I've been gathering friends to just to make some sounds,
    before the ship goes down, I've been making amends by making the rounds before the whole world ends


    [Chit Chat Specific Forum Rules] // Last Update - Friday March 13, 2009

  5. #5
    Oh Snap is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default

    "Hmmm, yeah, I suppose that's good enough I guess"

    Heh.

  6. #6
    Aikido is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,658

    Default

    hmm. weak. sorry, bro.

  7. #7
    mystic_guard_sinoel is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The 14th Moon
    Posts
    5,234

    Default

    Is it worth reading the whole thing? I woke up like 10 minutes ago and I'm feeling lazy.


  8. #8
    Aikido is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,658

    Default

    its a letdown.

  9. #9
    deuce22 is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    4,146

    Default

    yeah, I read it. Wasn't nearly as good as some other ones. =( We've been let down this time guys....


  10. #10
    Aikido is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,658

    Default

    but hey, can't be a winner all the time.

 

 
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