Man, you wouldn't believe how slutty this girl from yesterday was.
Let me paint the scene for ya.
So I decided to head over to a local sports bar kinda thing. Play some pool, watch some hockey, that sorta thing. I get in, play a couple games of 9 ball with some guys (get my ass kicked) and then this gal wants me to be her doubles partner. She knew me from the radio, and thought I was pretty cool.
Anyways, we play and she's being a little flirty and whatnot, and that was fun. I played back, not like I'm getting laid or anything lately. Everytime she was getting up for a shot, she'd use the thick end of the cue to simulate you know, giving a HJ/BJ and whatnot. So I decide to just go for it. She wasn't the hottest chick I'd ever seen, but she was fun and you know, lets just see what happens. I ask her what's going on with her tomorrow night, and she says "
Her - "A whole lotta nothing, did you wanna change that?"
Me - "Yeah, sounds like a plan. What did you wanna do?"
Her - "Do you wanna know the PG13 version, or the Rated R/X version?"
Me - "The second, please"
She comes up and whispers in my ear :
Her - "I've heard stories about how good you are in bed. I was wanting to test and see if they were true"
Me - "Who'd you hear these stories from? They might understate my prowess"
Her - "Well, I heard it from a friend of Samantha's (EX), and TRUST ME, there's no way they are understated. Basically Samantha makes it sound like you're some god"
Me - "Hmmm, yeah, I suppose that's good enough I guess"
Her - "So *rubs my junk a bit* what do you think of that?"
Me - "You know what I think?
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
