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  1. #21
    Jakko's Avatar
    Jakko is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Ahhh, memories.

    Anyone remember my hoboe thread?

  2. #22
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    I like the idea of using the horse to get somewhere and for loneliness and then eating it.

    but why not eat the dogs? and the 'communication use' animals?

    oh and seting up a 'large communication system'.. with rats and birds? silly, you'd have to train them to places and such. :P


    and wth are you people complaining, I read it all and I found it quite nice.


    I already got a pretty good plan myself, using meh car to escape to a secret place in the middle of the woods, quite far away from everything that nobody knows and I can get all the fish and water I want with ease, I'll survive when you all perish.

    Wanna understand my siggie? Watch out for this forum troll. Click
    here

  3. #23
    Yummy Lingo is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    wait , dark admiral.

    is this supposed to be a joke. i mean, are we supposed to find your....erm....guide, funny?

    just asking.

  4. #24
    R3dKnight is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Be more realistic please
    and start writing a SARS or Avian influenza survival guide.

  5. #25
    gemynd is offline Senior Member Frequent Poster
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    I live in a fairly well populated area, so I suspect I would wind up being one of the zombies. That makes my preparation a little different to DarkAdmiral's. My preparation goes like this:

    1. Sharpen teeth (if you're going to be a zombie and you want to live longer than all the other 1000's of zombies, you want better eating power!)
    2. Get lots of shots for every disease you can think of (imagine all the nasty diseases and viruses you could contract from your victims)
    3. Keep a sturdy pair of clothes on hand, and be sure to don them at the first sign of a zombie horde (maybe they will choose to be the victim of the fully clothed zombie rather than the one who's clothes are in tatters, or non-existant. They say it always pays to be dressed well)
    4. Get away from any shops (zombie killing heroes go there to get their weapons, you never want to be around when that happens)

    That's my preparation for you. (I will think about making an effort to read all that text sometime, I've already read the history thread today, and zombie bashing just can't compare to it)

  6. #26
    DarkAdmiral is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Its not suppossed to be particulary funny, I'm not that good of a writer to attempt that. Its just suppossed to be an interesting conversation type piece. Without further ado here is the last of the of it all.


    People: (humans.... for the most part)
    Considering that there are over Six Billion humans on earth, odds are there will be other survivors than yourself. Humans are social creatures, so before long there will be many groups of people in various locations. You will have to decide if you want to go solo, form or hook up with a small group, or find/create a large community. There are various advantages and disadvantages to each, and each one functions differently.

    Solo- If you go solo you are very mobile and don't have to worry about other people, but you also don't have anyone there to bail you out if you get in trouble. On the plus side going solo is very quiet, so you wont attract Zombies as much as many people would, you also dont have any squabbling over supplies. The main disadvantage to going solo is that it would both physically and mentally lonely at times. You can go solo in both rural and urban areas If you know the location of a community or an immobile group you could base yourself near them, that way you could have trade, contact with others, and Zombies would be attracted more to them than to you.
    Group (3-15 people)- When you go the group route you do get more people, so you wont be lonely, but it will be quite a bit louder. A group can defend itself better against Zombie attacks, but will have problems like lack of supplies, and power struggles within the group. You also run the risk of little cliques forming and creating outcasts. Groups can function well in both urban and rural areas.
    Community (50+ people)- A community is very loud and immobile, you have a lot of people and there will either be plenty of supplies or no supplies. Communities will eventually lead to the rise of politicians, who might choose to impose martial law, corruption will be very possible. On the upside there are going to be plenty of people and it will be very well protected. A community will almost certainly have to be located in the remains of a town or city.

    Zombies: (brrrrraaaaaaaaaaiiinnsss)
    Ah yes the Zombies, the whole reason for this guide. Like any war you should learn everything you possibly can about your enemy. Can they communicate? How do they hunt? Are they fast or slow moving? The more you know about them the better you chances of surviving are.

    Things to learn about:
    Behavior- You should learn how the act, what they do naturally. Do they relive the old lives or do they just wander aimlessly. What senses do they use to hunt? Are they fast moving or slow and shambling? Are they nocturnal, do they avoid water?
    Infection- How is the Zombie producing disease spread? Will you get it if they bite you, or if you ingest any of their fluids? Does magic or man create them? Are they demonic in nature? Are they actually dead bodies or are they just possessed/infected people? Another thing to learn about is if they carry any normal infections and diseases.
    Intelligence- Just how smart are the Zombies? Do they know how to call for more paramedics or use weapons, or are they just mindless wandering chunks of meat? Are they capable of working together or communicating?
    Durability- Just how much punishment can their bodies take? How strong are they? Are the capable of healing wounds or are they rotting where they stand? If they do rot, how fast are they rotting and will they "die" when they're done rotting?
    Weaknesses- How do you stop them, does dismembering or eviscerating them work? What about fire? Are they vulnerable to holy artifacts and holy water? What about silver and sunlight? Will they stop if they are shot in the head?
    Variations- Are they all the same or are there many types? Are there sentient Zombies? What about plants and animals, are there any Zombies of them?
    Amount- Just how many Zombies are there? Do they “run” in packs, or go solo?
    Powers- Do the Zombies have any special powers? Can their severed limbs act on their own? Can the bodies fuse together into a giant Super-Zombie?

    The most important and basic thing for you to learn is, how to stop them. That is the one thing you must absolutely learn A.S.A.P. Generally you should attack the head until there is no longer a head to attack. That destroys their senses that they use to hunt and possible destroys the brain as well. Zombies typically have very bad motor functions so inside your base you should use simple tripwires to slow them down, and you should also destroy the stairs and use retractable ladders when going up to the second level, preferably you should destroy all the stairs below the third story but that may not be feasible. Any elevators and escalators should be destroyed or blocked as well.
    If it’s possible you may want to conduct tests with any captured or lone Zombies. I suggest that you use volunteers like the Tobacco Institute scientists and members of Congress, I would suggest lawyers too, but they aren‘t really human and would probably end up defending the Zombies in a discrimination and abuse case. These tests could provide valuable information and create a pathetic sub-breed of Zombies while ridding humanity of these loathsome parasites.

    END
    Well there you have folks, after reading all this you should be able to survive at least a year when the Zombies come. But lets face it if you had to read this guide to survive you be Zombie chow long before I am. Maybe I’ll see your rotting corpses as I snipe down Zombies while gathering supplies, or maybe not, but whatever the case if you come across me after the Zombie invasion feel free to spend a night or two and rest up before you head on your way again, I may even give you some supplies if your nice.

  7. #27
    Yummy Lingo is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
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    *sigh*

    it 'supposed to be funny' was my final attempt at trying to understand just what the hell this thread was supposed to lead to.

    but man, i give you credit for resilience..... it must have taken a lot to just start the damn thing. and cont. after the lovely response.

    trust me, you have very diverse responses.

  8. #28
    SamLai is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default yeah yeah!

    Quote Originally Posted by 98abaile View Post
    Assuming that the subject matter was worth reading anyway (which its not, its pretty boring except for some stand out moments), we'd all go and download the PDF (of the entire book) rather than read these extracts. And the assuming that the topic was worth talking about, we'd probably start a discussion rather than just post extracts and leave others to their own devices. The topic would probably then diverge and a myriad of other related topics discussed, with plenty of humour and enjoyment.

    But don't worry about it, Jyuu is right, we do enjoy seeing you stumble about in your blissful ignorance, but in the same way a small child might enjoy pulling the wings off a butterfly or dragonfly and feeding it to a spider or an ants nest. So please do carry on.
    (kudos to anyone who spots the resident evil reference)

    To at least salvage something from this thread (sorry to spoil your fun Jyuu), this thread is now about what you would do if the world was suddenly hit by a zombie epidemic. Its up to you what movie/game/book the zombies are from.

    I shall start.


    Assuming the zombies were the las plagas from resi 4 (since that was the most recent zombie related thing I have seen/played), the first thing I'd do, is to find some sort of breathing apparatus (since the game hinted that the parasite might be air borne), then I would try to find some way to arm myself, probably with a mêlée weapon since firearms aren't readily available in this country. I could get a weak crossbow (although its only really designed for target practise), but the problem would be retrieving the ammunition.
    I would then try to get back to my home town, since the town nearby where I went to school has its own TA barracks and the school I went to has its own armoury with over 50 mil spec weapons (albeit non-repeating, unless they got their LSWs back), I also know the area quite well and know the best places to set up defencive positions. There are also farmers who are probably armed with shotguns in the area.

    I had some similar idea too, but i dropped guns since it was against the law in my "safe and peaceful country" So i picked up japanese aikido and chinese kung-fu... Btw, i dont find this post boring or whatsoever, there are people who are interested in such things anyway.

    Ah yes, i almost forgotten, i've seen alot of emergencies, first-hand experience, those who have attitudes like "hey wat a boring post/person" or "hah, wat hes doing is pointless!" are those who die first.
    Regardless if a fire emergency, earthquake, out-in-the-sea storm or a zombie invasion, you die first, if you dont intend to change your attitude.
    Last edited by SamLai; 02-13-2007 at 03:22 AM.

  9. #29
    DarkAdmiral is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    I think I finally found a place where this guide will be appreciated.
    www.badmovies.org

  10. #30
    coolerimmortal is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    What would I do if the world was hit by a zombie epidemic?

    Naturally, I would begin by arming myself. Two katanas, a pair of handguns, and a lot of ammunition. I'd wear tight clothes, obviously, so the zombies couldn't grab me. I'd also wear a hat to keep my hair under control. I'd use a bicycle to get to the coast, taking minimal supplies with me. Once at the coast, I would band together with other survivors, find a boat, and get to an island. We would, of course, load the boat with supplies ahead of time. We'd clean out the island, killing the zombies, and build a camp. After that, we'd fortify the island so no zombies could simply wash up and eat us. We'd grow food on site, and when necessary return to the nearest civilized location using our boat for supplies and news. After the world is stabilized, we'd return.

 

 
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