This is probably offensive. Don't read it if you are easily offended. But if you are easily offended, well, this is LUE.
I mean, I can understand the ones who are physically overpowered.
But the ones that are lured in?
What the hell are they thinking of?
Some of the stuff I've heard plays out like a goddamn cartoon.
"Honk honk! Hey Doug! Mr. Dink just told me about a party he was having, just us two are invited, there's going to be beer and everything! He said chicks will be coming too! It's in his basement! He's even going to let us...you know...play with ourselves while he shows porn!"
"I don't know Skeet, I mean, we heard that guy from school saying that people like Mr. Dink are old and they'll try to-"
"Doug, are you cool?"
"Well yeah, I like the Beets but-"
"Don't you want to get laid, Doug? And not those minor leagues like Patty. All the cool guys, they go in the basements of 40 year old guys who hang around young teenaged males all day. And they score. With chicks."
Two weeks later
"Tonight on Bluffington News, we regret the loss of two of some of our brightest minds. The bodies of Mosquito "Skeeter" Valentine and Douglas Yancy Funnie were found bound and gagged in the dumpster of the Honker Burger. The assailant has been captured, and his only comments were, "I honked that young Valentine until he turned purple."