Thread: Santa Claus!!!

Now I warn you guys. These report (which I have obtained from a very excellent reliable source, and when I say excellent I mean Italian pizza excellent) contain some of the most earth-shattering revelations ever put in front of human eyes. It will forever change the way you see religion, the economy, the government- our very society. People have been killed for having so much as glanced at some of the ultra-secret facts you are about to feast your eyes upon. (These are not my words but words of that very relaible source. Do not take this for granted.) For your sake I am only going to post less then half of whats been uncovered.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARN

Ask yourself this people; why were we told about something as ludicrous as Santa? What purpose does it bring? Let's say... hypothetically... Santa can actually go to every house on the planet in one night. He uses that power to give kids a bunch of junk they don't need. He could deliver food every day to starving kids. Drop off medicine to underdevelope countries. I leave it at that.

Now re-ask yourself those first two question mentioned before. Why? UNLESS maybe we we're supposed to disbelieve. Maybe they want us to be cynical and dismiss santa... perhaps there is something deeper going on here... But maybe just maybe Santa is real and he's an agent of the Illuminati working towards global domination and the new world order.

Santa Claus may actually exist in some form, and is part of a vast conspiracy by the Illuminati to control the world. He starts the mental conditioning that is a necessity for a society be controlled. He's an unseen power never to be challanged. On christmas he replaces God, diverting attention from spirituality to greed, which is what drives the Illuminati's ability to control the world's economy in ways you should begin to comprehend. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" Sounds like "Big Brother" doesn't it. The only thing left is a connection to George Bush. ALL conspiracies connect to George Bush one way or another.

Well you maybe thinking "Is this guy serious?" But wait the two above maybe stupid and unrealistic but here comes the good part.

Now upon researching extensively, I have come across something so obvious I even doubted myself. Get a pen and paper out folks. It's right there, in the word SANTA. Think about it... Keep thinking while looking at that word, you got time... You done, well here it is. Move that "N" in "SANTA" to the end and what do you get. Yes exactly "SATAN"

Now wait a minute before you let anger consume you. When does Santa come. I'll give you time to figure this one out............. can't can you. Think outside the box............ Santa comes on December 24, which is 12/24 right? THINK MAN THINK! One plus two is three, and two plus four is six. See it now? Three Sixes-the sign of the beast. Now I leave you to ponder upon this shocking discovery.

And the last quote you will get from me today.

This my friends may sound crazy but give me a minute to explain. Think about what it must cost to run Santa's operation. A secret artic base, henchmen, massive distribution center, backengineered alien transportation. Where's all this money coming from? Huh? Who's bankrolling this operation? It's for sure gotta be CIA money. Probably from illegal drug trafficking. Yes I'm saying it SANTA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CRACK EPIDEMIC.

So the next time around Christmas do yourself a favor. Call up your local police department and ask them this; "Will everybody be allowed to break into other people's homes, or just the fat white men in red suits?" Tis the season to expose the hypocrisy of the man.

Well then that all I can show you unless you want FBI knocking at my door anytime now for telling more. These once again are not my words. They are from a very relaible source. If you find that source pm me before posting it up(Looking at you STD). Just gotta make sure your right before stating false accusation. I wanted to save this for Christmas but couldn't stop the urge from warning you guys. So have a Merry Christmas.

FREE JOLLY JENKINS

santas a pedo, why else would he put lil girls and boys on his lap and bounce them up and down.

Shyt, I have to report this to my superiors. People are catching on. Everyone here, none of this happened!

*puts on sunglasses*
*flashes deneurolizer*

thsi thread was about who Manaka from Ichigo 100% should go out with, nothing else. proceed.

Uhhhh....Manaka should go out with Suzuka!

23?? why 23??? it's ALL a conspiracy...
;_;
and I trusted Santa... ;_;
*cries*

I want the 5 minutes it took out of my life to read that back.

Now.

It's all part of the conspiracy behind putting artificial christmas trees and decorations out for sale earlier each year.

Shocking. I can't believe I made cookies for him.

I can't believe I sat in his lap!!!

I wonder how many innocent little children he's deflowered in his long and illustrious career.

I bet he's keeping his elves as sex slaves too.