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  1. #1
    king_of_kings is offline Senior Member Well Known
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    Default How To Tell If You Are Gay

    HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE GAY:



    1. IF YOU ARE OVER 30 AND YOU HAVE A WASHBOARD STOMACH, YOU ARE GAY.

    It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've
    been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing
    sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

    2. IF YOU HAVE A CAT, YOU ARE A FLAAAAMING FAG.

    A cat is like a dog, but gay: it grooms itself constantly but never
    scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and
    whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come
    here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a
    cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!"

    Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.


    3. IF YOU SUCK ON LOLLIPOPS, RING-POPS, BABY-PACIFIERS, OR ANY SUCH
    NONSENSE, REST ASSURED, YOU ARE A GAYLORD.


    A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish
    guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training
    to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.


    4. IF YOU REFUSE TO TAKE A DUMP IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM OR PISS IN A PARKING
    LOT, YOU'RE IN A DEEP HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.


    A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.


    5. IF YOU DRINK DECAF COFFEE WITH SKIM MILK, YOU LIKE A HIGH HARD ONE
    IN THE POOP-CHUTE.


    Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and
    full-aroma. A 'tang-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe
    Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener
    tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick
    there too.

    6. IF YOU KNOW MORE THAN SIX NAMES OF COLORS OR FOUR DIFFERENT TYPES OF
    DESSERT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE HANDING OUT FREE PASSES TO YOUR ASS.


    A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
    crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL,
    NBA, college ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or u
    know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile
    other than denim, you are faggadocious!


    7. IF YOU DRIVE WITH BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL, FORGET IT...YOU'RE
    HUNGRY FOR MEAT-POPSICLE.


    A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to
    cut the sumbitch off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the
    radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, grab the bi-atch in the
    passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone.

    8. IF YOU ENJOY ROMANTIC COMEDIES OR FRENCH FILMS, MON-FRERE, VOUS
    SONNEZ LE GAY, OUI?


    The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who
    knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or
    with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual
    combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.
    Behold the King, the King of Kings!!!



    ....................................On yours knees dog!!!

  2. #2
    Makumbator is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Feb 2006
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    Default

    9. If you make lists like "HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE GAY", you like to have it in the brown salon.

  3. #3
    king_of_kings is offline Senior Member Well Known
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    Default

    10. talking about takin it in the brown salon.
    Behold the King, the King of Kings!!!



    ....................................On yours knees dog!!!

  4. #4
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Dec 2004
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    2,680

    Default

    Here's a sure fire one. You like Superman? Yeah, pretty gay right there.

  5. #5
    Tevesh is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    694

    Default

    Naruto is some gay shit too. I mean, Naruto talks about his feelings and how badly he misses Sasuke. That's 200% gay right there.

    And we're not even touching the rest of the characters.

  6. #6
    Spurgu is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    Nov 2005
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    In your pants. OO BOY
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    Default

    "And if you can name ANY type of textile
    other than denim, you are faggadocious! "

    What is denim?

    No, I am serious.

    What is denim?!

  7. #7
    shinigamiwolf is offline Senior Member Always Around
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    seeking for a place where sanity is not needed
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    1,108

    Default

    From an unknown source
    If you think you're gay then you're gay

  8. #8
    king_of_kings is offline Senior Member Well Known
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AKofC
    Here's a sure fire one. You like Superman? Yeah, pretty gay right there.
    dude if you like any guy in that way then you must be gay!
    Behold the King, the King of Kings!!!



    ....................................On yours knees dog!!!

  9. #9
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
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    Dec 2004
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    Default

    I'm bi actually. But I prefer my gay men to be very metrosexual.

  10. #10
    king_of_kings is offline Senior Member Well Known
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    Default

    dude theres nothing wrong about wat you like, if you comfortable with your sexuality then its fine, im very hetrosexual and i dont mind people that are gay, im just helping them accept wat they are.
    Behold the King, the King of Kings!!!



    ....................................On yours knees dog!!!

 

 
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