Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: A Quest

  1. #1
    MojoMunkeez is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    6,450

    Default A Quest

    Hear ye, brave and noble knights. I, MojoMunkeez, beseech a quest upon ye.

    Findeth me one "Stoned Oedipus Essay" and win mine hand in holy e-matrimony.


    Tarry not, onward, good men!



  2. #2
    Cold-NiTe's Avatar
    Cold-NiTe is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Dallas, Tx, US
    Posts
    3,872

    Default

    Stoned? Are we talking about what happened to Antigone, his daughter, or are we talking about the dangers of writing college essays about Greek Tragedies while high?
    Dear cousin choppitychop89, you were a good relative, though I hardly knew ye.

  3. #3
    sperm worm is offline Senior Member Always Around
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    VT, MA & NY, USA
    Posts
    2,450

    Default

    or are we just talking about what i do when i get bored...


  4. #4
    Dante Obscuri is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Sodom and Gomorrah - Cocytus
    Posts
    3,254

    Default

    What's with the Stoned? If you want info seel wikipedia, the rest can flow from your imagination.


  5. #5
    AKofC is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    2,680

    Default

    You talking about that essay written by a dude while he was high? Sure, let me try to find it.


    Re Edit: Added url with the images at the bottom.


    And bam. Though I am unable to find the image/scan of this essay as the image link from where I took the following from has long since been dead.



    A man can only justify his actions if he regards his demeanor with deductive thinking. This man was not Oedipus, mainly because he was a fucking douche bag. One must know who Oedipus was to understand the period in which it was written. This is my thesis statement. The Greeks contributed many things to our culture, such as olives, gyros, Lenny Kravitz, anal sex, and Oedipus. Oedipus will be remembered throughout time because he suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease, and that’s why he couldn’t play baseball in the first Olympic games. He will always be remembered for his journeys and his love for the New York Yankees.

    <picture of Lou Gehrig with caption: 1821, Associated Press, Lou Gehrig is smiling because he got daily rim jobs from the girls at Scores.>

    Laius and Jocasta were king and queen of Thebes, a town in Greece. They were fucking around and Laius forgot to strap his shit. One day, they had a baby boy. An oracle prophesized that the boy would grow up and kill his father and marry his mother. Lauis was like fuck that shit, that’s gay. To thwart the prophecy, Lauis and Jocasta decided to kill their baby. They fingered his butt hole and sent him on his way. In those days, it was usual to leave an unwanted or defective baby in the wilderness. Lauis Jocasta did this. To be extra-sure, they pierced his little feet and tied them together. (Don’t worry about this detail, which makes no sense. It must have been introduced to explain the hero’s name.) A kindly shepherd found the baby in a pool skimmer. He gave the baby to a friend, who took it to Corinth, another town. (Corinth reappears in the New Testament, under the category of DVDA, versus 63) The king and queen or Corinth couldn’t have a baby of their own. The king has a bad case of limp dick. So they adopted the foundling. Nobody ever told little Oedipus that his mother was never pregnant. She aborted a kitten into a toilet in the back of a Denver Denny’s. One day, after he had grown up, a drunk mentioned his being adopted, Oedipus killed the bum. Oedipus questioned his parents, but they denied it. Oedipus visited various oracles to find out whether he was really adopted. All the oracles told him instead that he would kill his father and marry his mother. He told them that they were dissin’ him so he grabbed his 12 sided double dildo and left town. (None of this makes much sense. Again, don’t worry about it. This is a folk tale, not a god damn Oxy Clean Commercial) To thwart the oracles, Oedipus left Corinth permanently. He then sought out Billy Mays and had gay sex with him, at the time it was considered polite. (Again, don’t worry. Yes, Oedipus should have considered that, since he might be adopted, any older many might be his father and any older woman his mother. But this is a folk tale.) Traveling the roads, Oedipus got into a traffic squabble and killed a stranger who (unknown to him) was King Laius. Oedipus snorted two lines of pure cocaine off his dead dad. In one version, there was a dispute over the right of way on a bridge. In those days, high rank got to go first. Oedipus identified himself as heir to the throne of Corinth, and for some reason (again, don’t worry about it)

    This is page 3

    Laius’s people simply attacked instead of explaining that he was king of Thebes. They were dumb Greek dudes, what did you expect an atomic bomb? Some versions say that the rude Laius drove over Oedipus’s sore foot, making him lose his temper. This is bullshit don’t believe it or I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, AND YES THIS IS A WRITTEN THREAT! And that’s what Oedipus told his father.

    One should ANALize the poetry on page 43, when Oedipus is rollin in his benzo, and he has to bust a cap on some flagrants in the under city.

    Riding in the benzo, poppin my colla
    See some fine wenches, I hafta holla
    Diamonds, gold, and the all mighty dolla
    Im Oedipus bitch, the original balla
    I bust out my 9, to light up your impala
    Fuck that police!

    Dr. Dre got most of his inspiration from the Greek story of Oedipus. Soon Oedipus’s smarts saved the town of Thebes, and he was made king. In fact, the only reason Dr. Dre produced “The Chronic” because the Bible tells you to smoke lots of pot, and Oedipus used to blaze with the makers of Aqua Fresh tooth paste.

    Oedipus married Laius’s widow, Queen Jocasta. So basically he was fucking his own mom which was fuckin nasty. He ruled well, and they had four children. Eventually, Oedipus and Jocasta found out what had really happened. Imagine your like jamming your mom and like you have 4 kids, then the feds come to your house and say that she wuz your mom, and you were like ya? So? And they were like, well that’s gross and illegal. (You must assume that accidentally killing your father and marrying your mother is a disaster.) Jocasta committed suicide with a pimento and Oedipus blinded himself and became a wandering beggar, because The Beetles did it and that was cool. In the version which must have been the favorite of Sophocles’s Athenian audience, Oedipus found sanctuary at Colonus, outside Athens. The kindness he was shown at the end made the city itself blessed. Which is the gayest thing ever. The greeks invented anal lube. This is my conclusion. THE END.


    I stole this from: http://luelinks.net/linkme.php?l=35308

    Also go here for the pics: http://ubersite.com/m/56674
    Last edited by AKofC; 08-30-2006 at 11:39 PM.

  6. #6
    Quiraikotsu is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Behind you... BWHAHAHAH
    Posts
    2,705

    Default

    ..does that mean mojo and AK are now married?

  7. #7
    cronik is offline Senior Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    212

    Default

    I wish the two of you great e-happiness and a beautiful e-life together.

  8. #8
    MojoMunkeez is offline Senior Member Community Builder
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Bay Area
    Posts
    6,450

    Default

    You forgot the headers.

    "Planes, Trains, and Plantains: the Story of Oepidus"
    "This font is smaller than the last"
    Last edited by MojoMunkeez; 09-01-2006 at 03:43 PM.



  9. #9
    cronik is offline Senior Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    212

    Default

    Oh, so no e-marriage then? Was it all a lie? I hope this doesn't turn ugly.

  10. #10
    Aurora86 is offline Senior Member Long Time Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    On campus dodging lectures :p
    Posts
    970

    Default

    Mojo
    You did promise AkofC now
    And it would make Boopkit and ih VERY happy
    Come on we want a wedding!!!!
    Cn's wedding was so long ago
    And Chiza refused to get married despite me selling her
    But wait til I get back Please!!!!
    I'll return on the 23rd of Sept and I'll act as The reverend!!!!

 

 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
vBulletin Skin by: ForumThemes.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79