Thread: Missions

Well, I'm leaving for a 10-day missions trip tomorrow.
We will be traveling to Mexico to spread the gospel through children's and prison ministry.
I'd like to ask for a ST blessing.

We're all pretty nervous because with the exception of one person, this is our first missions trip.

Pray we don't get Montezuma's Revenge. =]

You will get a flat tire. You will find a motel in the middle of nowhere. You and your group will enter said motel. There you will find archetypes of various people, from the fat guy with nothing to live for, to the warm motel manager, to the young gir on her way to the big city trying to make it big, to Vinnie Italiano who is on the run from the mob, and so on and so forth. Then an earthquake occurs resulting in the discovery of a long sealed recess in the wall. In there you find a door, which of course, being the curious lot that you are, you end up opening, releasing a long sealed evil.

Depending on your little stereotype, you will have many different outcomes. But since you're Asian, and you have a small penis, you will most likely die first, in a truly painful way. The closest you might get into a sexual encounter, is when you are seduced by some sultry seductress who is in truth a demon who eats your skin leaving you alive and systematically chopping off your limbs to feed her minions.

Don't worry though. There will be survivor(s) in the form of the young rebel who isn't actually popular, but isn't actually a loser. Another potential survivor would be the girl he likes who also likes him back. They will not have sex until they are clearly away from the evil.

The hot cheerleader and the boyfriend will however die, as well as all the other people who will have sex. If you have sex, you die. Mostly in a horrible way, but not as horrible as your death because, they had sex.

Of course, who knows? Perhaps things might not work out that way and one of you, in a moment of insanity, chops off his hand and replacing it with a chainsaw. Or just a saw for the lack of a chainsaw, but that would be like, ten times less bad ass. That person will then fight the evil and save the day. Though tons of people will still die because that person is an asshat.

So yeah.

dont you just love ak? lol

Man, AKofC practically summarized my thoughts.

On a side note, there's no use on praying since you'll get Montezuma's Revenge one way or the other, if not, your were not in Mexico.

Hahahahaha! How the fuck do you come up with this crap AK? XD

Mojo is jail bait.

yea wth...even when i read it all...it was still...so...articulate. hav a nice trip...mojo. i dont really kno who u are since i used to post in here a long time ago. just dropping by.

Mojo's ass belongs to a large man named Carlos.

Alright! Now that's what I'm talking about.
A true ST blessing.
See you guys in ten days.

Remember, never have sex! And start to be a rebel before you leave. Kick your parents and smoke cigarettes like it was your first time.

Also never ever check a corpse until you fill it with lead.
If you hear a voice coming from a door/mirror/etc don't open the damn door. Ignore it.
The vanquishing of great evil always ends in giant explosions. Learn to run.
Never pair yourself with a chick as you might end up having sex. Never pair yourself with the guy who's sort of funny because he might sell you out to the evil to save himself. But the evil still eats him either way.
Same reason to stay away from the vain people.